DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and live with my mother and my stepfather, who has adopted me, and now I use his last name. My mom was young when she had me, and she wasn't married. My biological father said he was too young to get married, and he didn't want anything to do with me. When I was 5, my mother married my stepfather. I do not like my stepfather because he is always lecturing me about the bad things that can happen if I smoke, drink or do drugs.

Sometimes, when my mom says yes after I ask her whether I can do something or go somewhere, my stepfather will overrule her answer and say no, and then the final decision is no. I have always wondered who my real dad is because maybe I'd like to live with him and be rid of my stepfather. I love my mom but not my stepfather. When I ask them if I can meet my real dad, they always say no, and they use this weird phrase: "We don't even know where he is or if he's alive. He's in the wind." I'm old enough to know who my real dad is, and I think an answer that he is "in the wind" is a cop-out. What do you suggest I do? — Unhappy Stepdaughter

UNHAPPY STEPDAUGHTER: Are you sure that your biological father would want you to live with him? It's natural that you're curious about who and where your biological father might be, and I encourage you to find out, but wait until you're not living at home — or at least until you're 18.

Being a stepparent is not always an easy position. Your stepfather has accepted you as his daughter, and I'm sure he is doing what he thinks is best for you. Maybe when you've aged a little more, you might understand the total picture more clearly.

I HIDE MY BINGE EATING FROM EVERYONE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 years old and happily married, but nobody knows about my illness, not even my husband. Whenever I binge, I make sure I'm alone and nobody knows. I'm too embarrassed to tell my husband or even my family or my best friend.

My typical eating pattern includes eating like a bird or fasting completely five days out of the week. Then, for two days (typically on the weekends), I stuff myself, eating everything in sight until I have stomach cramps. I can't stand the thought of vomiting, so I take a bunch of Ex-Lax and go to bed. After starving the next day, I end up being slim and trim again.

I really want to look good and be thin, but I hate being so out of control, and I worry about the consequences. I realize I have a serious problem, but I don't know how I can stop. I'm getting more and more depressed every day. Once, I took an overdose of diet pills, but I just passed out for several hours, and I didn't have any type of life-threatening reaction.

I keep thinking I probably need to speak to a psychiatrist, but I can't afford it. I'm feeling alone and scared. What should I do at this point? — Ashamed and Alone, via email

ASHAMED AND ALONE: Asking for help is the first step toward recovery, but it is impossible for you to do it alone. Your husband loves you and will absolutely understand. A husband and wife should confide in and support each other with every important aspect of their lives, and this problem absolutely qualifies as very important.

You must tell him right away, and then the two of you should visit your family doctor. Explain to him that your funds are limited, but you need to help immediately. Your doctor will direct you to professionals who can help you quickly, because you don't want to continue one more day putting your body through this unhealthy behavior.

The most important person in your recovery process is your husband. He will always be there for you when the urge to binge takes over. With him and good medical help, you can and will overcome your problem. Please take these steps right away, and write back to us here when you have any kind of update. All of us involved with writing and editing this column support you in your recovery, and I trust thousands of readers will be supporting you and rooting for your swift recovery.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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