DR. WALLACE: I'm a 15-year-old girl, and I have an obnoxious 11-year-old brother. He's always trying to agitate me, and he pesters me continually.

I'm a good student in school, so whenever I do have to deal with him for an extended period when he's harassing me, I try to make that time productive. For example, the other day I asked my brother why he was bothering me so much and why he wasn't playing with his best friend after school. My little brother said, "He has gone to the store with his parents."

Instead of arguing with my brother about the things he was harassing me about, I calmly told him that he had said that sentence incorrectly. "He went to the store with his parents" is the correct grammar to use when saying that.

This agitated my brother even further, and when my mother came home, he was screaming and yelling that I was talking down to him.

To make a long story short, I got grounded one entire Saturday because my parents felt that I was mocking my brother! All I did was try to teach him something in the middle of his angry outbursts. Why did I get punished when he's the one in the wrong? — It's Totally Unfair, via email

IT'S TOTALLY UNFAIR: I agree with you here that your punishment seemed out of line; however, there is a lesson to be learned.

From now on, don't try to correct your brother's grammar anymore, especially when he's acting out. Simply stay in control of yourself and don't react to the bait he's presenting to you. Instead, stay calm and encourage him to eat a healthy snack that you'd be happy to prepare for him, for example.

Your parents are likely to side with your younger brother when disputes arise, no matter the origin. So, take the high road in the future and stay out of the fray the best you can.

I HAVE FACTS SHE'S UNAWARE OF

DR. WALLACE: My best friend is dating a new guy this summer, and from what I can tell, she seems to like him a lot.

However, once I got to understand who he was, I mentioned his name to a few people, and they told me that he is a heavy drinker, even though he's still a few months short of even turning 18. My best girlfriend, the one who's dating him, does not drink or act in a wild. And I already know that her parents would immediately seek to end the relationship if they found out this guy was drinking, especially to excess.

I didn't want to say anything without absolute proof, so I recruited a guy friend of mine to go hang out with a few of his close friends, since he knows some of those guys. Sure enough, there was underage drinking going on, and my friend reported back to me that my best friend's boyfriend drank three beers in about an hour and ten minutes.

Now that I have some proof, should I say anything to my best girlfriend or just keep my mouth shut? — Not Sure What to Do, via email

NOT SURE WHAT TO DO: With your skills, you should think of going into the detective agency business! My advice to you is to indeed put the information you have gathered from a reputable source into motion.

But do so in a completely honest and transparent way. Explain that since she's such a good close friend of yours, you wanted to check out rumors you had heard before approaching her.

Now that you have confirmed information, you felt it was your obligation to tell her and let her do with the information when she chooses.

No matter what she opts to do from here, do not be judgmental with her, but constantly reassure her that her friendship means a lot to you, as does her safety.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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