DR. WALLACE: I have a really great girlfriend, and the two of us are often mistakenly identified as twins. We kind of looked the same, even though we're from two different families.

My friend is great in many ways, but there is one thing she does that irritates me. She is always recommending that I buy the same kind of shoes she wears, the same kind of clothing and the same type of other things like food, books and even music.

Some of the time I like her choices and I follow along with her suggestions, but the other part of the time I'm not interested in what she likes and I do my own thing. This causes her to criticize me later when I take another direction. Is there any way I can get her to calm down and not be so condescending when I don't follow her choices 100% of the time? — Tired of Her Critical Eye, via email

TIRED OF HER CRITICAL EYE: She may be setting you up well to conduct an experiment of your own. You could introduce something new to her, such as clothing, food or music, and ask her opinion. Tell her that if she likes it, it would be fun for the two of you to share the common. But also mention that if she's not interested in your selection, you're fine with that as well because, after all, she's a unique individual.

Then say no more but carefully monitor her reaction. If you can position your discussions with her that it's great when you both like the same things, but it's also great when you both choose to be individuals, this leaves her with very little leverage to criticize any of your selections that do not match hers. If she persists after that and continues to be critical of you and your choices, you may want to consider the overall health of this type of friendship.

I'M REALLY SCARED TO FLY THIS SUMMER

DR. WALLACE: Our family is going on a vacation to Florida in August, and I've never been on an airplane before. My parents have assured me that air travel is actually safer than traveling in an automobile, but I'm still really scared about flying.

We live too far away from Florida to drive there easily, so our whole family is flying together, and the flight should take about 2 1/2 hours. I'm already dreading those hours! And what is strange is that none of my siblings are worried at all. My parents have flown on many airplane flights, so that leaves me alone with my fears. What can I do about this? — I'm Afraid To Fly, via email

I'M AFRAID TO FLY: The statistics your parents are telling you about are indeed accurate, but your situation is not as unusual as you may think it is.

I've seen studies that indicate as many as 1 in 6 people in America do have at least a mild fear of flying, so you're in good company. Of course, there are varying degrees of this fear, so I hope yours turns out to be on the lower end of that scale.

Plan ahead for your trip rather than constantly fearing it. Arm yourself by knowing that you'll have some tools ready to help you during this time. You can begin by distracting yourself during the trip by bringing some favored music, books or even puzzles that you like to solve.

If you're artistic, bring a sketchpad and plan to draw during the flight. Work on some deep breathing exercises now well before you'll be traveling. Get to the point where you can perfect rhythmic breathing at home with no stress, so that you can easily fall into this pattern of healthy breathing when you may need it in the future on your trip.

Allow yourself to think intellectually as much as possible. You know the statistics are tremendously in your favor, and you'll see how confident the pilots and cabin crew will be. Make it a point to talk to them as this will make you feel better. Also remind yourself that once you arrive there, the trip will be very much worth it as you'll enjoy a fun vacation. Allow yourself to think ahead even while you're on the flight and visualize yourself on vacation at the locations you're planning to enjoy.

Finally, don't feel that you have to do this all by yourself: Plan to sit next to whichever family member(s) can keep you calm and engage you the best. I trust your parents and siblings will be more than happy to help you in this way. After all, think about how easy it would be for you to help some other family member with something that made them anxious but did not affect you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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