DR. WALLACE: I'm a 19-year-old female who lives in a medium- to small-size midwestern town. My life has seen many ups and downs over the years, but my parents have always been supportive of me and love me no matter what mistakes I've made along the way.

I'm doing fairly well these days as I have a steady job and a good boyfriend. My family and my boyfriend always tell me how much they love me and how wonderful they think I am. But deep down I don't really feel that good about myself. I always remember the mistakes I made in the past, and I always feel as if I don't look all that attractive either. I basically never truly feel good about my life or myself.

These thoughts kind of come and go, and I can usually push them away. But at certain times, a small thing will happen, and it will trigger me to actually cry out loud for five to 10 minutes when I'm finally alone by myself.

I've actually told my boyfriend and even my parents how I feel and that I do get emotional from time to time ,but they all think it is a minor thing and that I shouldn't really worry about it. I even spoke to my grandmother about it one time and she told me that she thought it was normal to have various thoughts as a young person. She kind of gave me the impression that she felt that I'd soon grow out of this phase.

Do you think I am making too much of this and that I should also try to ignore it in the hopes that it will go away soon? Perhaps I will indeed outgrow these thoughts — at least that's what I'm hoping will happen. — Mood swings, via email

MOOD SWINGS: It could indeed be that you have even some mild form of depression. Hopefully, you're strong enough to be willing to seek some help in an effort to help quell these thoughts.

I take your comments and situation quite seriously. You are not intentionally trying to make yourself cry, so this likely means there are underlying reasons and issues that rise to the surface in your mind from time to time.

I urge you to speak with some people who can either help you or point you directly to those who can. A trusted teacher, counselor, family doctor or religious leader might be appropriate for you, given who is in your circle of acquaintances. Remember that a parent often listens to your problems but is wired to "root" generically for you to overcome anything in your path. Generic support and encouragement is fine, but it pales to a trained, experienced professional who truly possesses the tools to help diagnose you and guide you towards strategies custom designed to your specific needs.

Depression is a complex condition that can place an undermining grip on any individual. It does not usually fade away on its own, and as your letter indicated, you've had episodes of having depressing thoughts come and go over time. Please don't suffer in silence any longer.

Take action in your local area right away, as there are wonderful people out there who can help you. If you need any further specific assistance from this column, my staff or me, please don't hesitate to contact us with more details. We'll be sure to immediately point you to specific resources in your area.

I HAVE TWO OFFERS NOW!

DR. WALLACE: I got invited over a week ago to a summer concert that's coming up in two weeks. It's a band I love, and even though the guy who asked me is a guy I don't know too well, I said yes. Normally, I would not give this bland guy the time of day, but because I wanted to see this particular concert, I said yes to his offer. He told me he's a huge fan of this music and he had a friend who knew I was also a big fan, so that's how he knew to invite me. We're both 18, so I can make my own decisions on things like this even though I live with my mom. She's pretty good about staying out of my personal life.

But just yesterday, I got invited by a cute guy I know to this very same concert! I'd much rather go with him to this show than the first guy. What's your advice? How can I get out of the first date to take the second one without the first guy seeing me? I don't specifically know where the seats are for each guy, so if I make the switch, I'm hoping their seats aren't too close to each other. The venue holds about 10,000 people, so I think my odds are good of avoiding any drama. — Twice invited, via email

TWICE INVITED: I have a better solution for you. Let's start with the fact that you're only as good as your word, so show some character and go with the first guy who invited you. He earnestly offered to take you to this concert when you really wanted to go, and he secured your attendance to this event due to this kindness and his interest in you. You also mentioned that you don't know much about him, so I advise that you give him a chance since you already have in common the fact that you're both big fans of the same music.

See how it goes! It's only a few hours together. You can honor your word with him at the very least. And if by some chance the two of you hit it off, you'll be very happy you followed through on that date.

I'd advise that you tell the second guy that you'd love to go to a future concert with him but that you were already asked to this same show. Be honest; it's the best way for you to go. You can also tell the second guy that maybe the two of you could have lunch together one weekend to discuss the concert and get to know each other a bit better. This way, he'll know you'd still like to meet him, and he'll also know that you have the integrity to keep your word to others. With a little finesse and luck, you may be able to spend a little time with each of them, and from there you'll have a much better understanding of who is more compatible with you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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