DR. WALLACE: I'm a junior in high school. I recently met an interesting guy at a school function, and we got along great. I was actually hoping he might ask me out at first, but during the latter part of our very first conversation, he was honest and told me he was going steady with another girl. I respected his honesty, and so I just considered him a platonic friend, but we still talk once in a while at our high school.

Well, he recently told me that he had a long talk with his girlfriend and told her he would still date her occasionally but did not want to go steady with her exclusively. He said she was unhappy about this, but she accepted it because she did not want to lose him permanently. So now he asked me out on a date! Should I go? Or should I just stay away from him? He does seem to be of good general character, and he was honest with me and his formerly "steady" girlfriend. He gets good grades and is well-liked by many students and teachers. What do you think? — Unsure of My Next Move, Greeley, Colorado

UNSURE: Since he has been honest and you are interested in him, do accept a first date. Keep it short, sweet and platonic. Then once it's over, give a lot of thought to your next move. It may be a very good idea to have one of your girlfriends set you up on a date with another boy at your school as well. This way, all parties involved will be casually dating in a "nonexclusive" manner. Be honest with both boys, telling each of them that you have upcoming dates with other boys as well.

Over time, I trust things will sort themselves out well. Just take things very slowly, be fully honest with everyone, and protect yourself and your feelings at all times. Remember two things: First, there are many other boys at your school who you can date in addition to this particular boy, and second, do not do anything that would be dishonest or unfair to the first girl he was steadily dating. Your reputation is a highly important and fragile asset. Take good care of it accordingly.

FAIR & FIRMLY ENFORCED RULES ARE BEST

DR. WALLACE: I am a single parent of an 11-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old son. I had a lot of problems as a teen because my parents were extremely lenient in controlling me. Let's say I could do almost anything I wanted to with no questions asked. I took advantage of the freedom they gave me. I started smoking and drinking before my 14th birthday, and I became pregnant before I was 16. By the time I was 19, I had two children by two different guys. I still have never been married, but I do have my life in order now. I have an Associate of Arts degree in cosmetology from a community college, and I own my own beauty salon.

I have been very strict with both of my children. They both attend a Christian school and get good grades. I don't allow them to watch television, attend movies or go anywhere without me. Lately, they have been complaining that "their friends can do this, and their friends can do that, but they can't do anything." I admit that I'm overly strict, but it's much, much better than being super lenient. I should know! Do you agree? — Been There, Valparaiso, Indiana

BEEN THERE: A wise parent isn't labeled as "super lenient" or "super strict" when it comes to guiding children. To answer your question with a yes or no would be difficult. Parents who are very, very strict or super lenient need to rethink their philosophy of parenting. Families that share unconditional love and have fair rules that are enforced firmly but fairly have the best chance of having well-adjusted children.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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