DR. WALLACE: I'm 13 and have two younger brothers, ages seven and nine. These two boys are brats and do everything possible to upset me. They get their kicks out of making me angry. They spy on me, talk trash about me, laugh at me, steal from me, squeal to my parents about me, read my diary and pester my friends, who all despise them.
Why are little brothers always brats? My grandmother thinks these two little devils are angels. — Big, bothered sister, Seattle, WA.
BIG SISTER: Younger brothers aren't always brats, and siblings anywhere in the birth order are capable of filling that role. What can you do about it? Screaming at these "little angels" won't do the trick, and to punish them is, at best, a temporary solution.
Your brothers pester you because they enjoy seeing you get upset and angry. Your best recourse is to refuse to play that part. Don't become overwrought by their little games! I realize this will be difficult, but believe me, if you ignore them, they will soon realize that pestering you is a waste of time. My guess is that it will take about a week. The less you react, the less they will eventually try to get you to react. And, just to throw them off their game, randomly do something nice for them every once in a while out of the blue. Maybe buy them some ice cream cones or a new toy. (See if you can get your parents to loan you a little cash to do this with — or ask if you can earn a modest allowance by doing some extra chores around the house.)
When they get it into their heads that you won't be the "goat" anymore, they'll have to find someone else to bother — or give the gig up entirely. My guess is that they will give it up and "grow" out of it.
HAVE PARENTS VISIT AN AFTER SCHOOL DANCE
DR WALLACE: I'm a ninth grader and I enjoy very much being in high school. I attend all the athletic events, but I don't attend the school dances because our church does not condone dancing of any kind. One of my good friends attends some dances and asked me to join him. I told him that I'm not allowed to dance. He then said he doesn't dance either; instead he hangs around talking to kids about school stuff.
I'd really like to go to one to see what it's all about, but I know my parents would say no. If the gathering was called an after school hangout, I probably would be allowed to attend. Any help you can offer would be nice! — Alexa, Phoenix, Az.
ALEXA: I agree that very few students actually dance at afterschool "dances." Your friend was right. These dances often turn out to be supervised gab sessions.
Have your parents ask for permission to observe one of these events for a few minutes so they can evaluate if it's proper for you to attend. This should not cause a problem. Most school principals will allow parents to have a peek at school functions. Your folks may indeed change their mind once they see the actual atmosphere you have described. Good luck!
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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