DR. WALLACE: My calculus teacher gives us too much homework and she's also very strict and even sometimes mean in our classroom. She barks out orders to us and she gets very upset if anyone speaks out of turn.

She also has a very high bar for grades, so this means only a very few students will achieve an A grade and only a few more will get B grades. The bulk of her students have mainly C grades with several D and even F grades tossed in as well.

There is one other calculus teacher at our school, but I could not get into his class. He's also a hard grader from what I hear, but he does give out more A and B grades to top students. Best of all, other students tell me he is friendly and respectful to everyone.

I asked my counselor to transfer me to his class earlier this semester, but she told me I had to stay in my existing calculus class.

I don't think this is fair; do you? — Unhappy Student, via email

UNHAPPY STUDENT: Life is not always fair, and we can't always select what situation we will find ourselves in. This is especially true for adults working in career jobs that they may not enjoy. Sometimes a decent job also involves having a tough or unfriendly supervisor or manager and in order to keep the job, an employee must adjust and just make the best of the situation.

I understand how you feel, but my advice is to focus on doing the very best you can in the class you're in now. Don't even think about the other class or that other teacher since you are not going to be in that classroom.

As finals are coming up soon, I advise you to politely ask your teacher one day after class if you can meet with her briefly to ask her for her suggestions on the best way to study for your final exam since you are very motivated to achieve the best grade you possibly can in her class.

Approaching a difficult persona and politely engaging them carefully sometimes yields good results. And even if it doesn't, you are usually no worse off than if you just fume silently from afar. Give this idea a try, and good luck. The good news is that you'll soon be out of this class either way.

I SAW HIM WITH ANOTHER GIRL!

DR. WALLACE: This week while I was shopping at the mall, I saw my best friend's boyfriend with another girl! At first I assumed that she was probably just a friend until I saw them holding hands and hugging each other a little longer than I felt was appropriate. Once I saw this, I was hooked into watching more from a distance. And sure enough, after about three more minutes of my "detective work" I saw them kiss each other on the lips! This of course sealed the deal, and I had my totally positive confirmation about what was going on.

Well, this guy did not see me and doesn't know that I saw him with that girl. I feel so bad for my friend and know she will be heartbroken when she finds out. I also know I need to tell her soon. I have no idea how to do this though without getting in the middle of the situation and making her even more upset. How should I go about telling her in the gentlest way possible? — I Saw Too Much, via email

I SAW TOO MUCH: I agree you should tell her quite soon. Find a time when the two of you can be alone, so that nobody can overhear your private conversation about this matter.

Let her know why you were at the mall and what you noticed. Tell her you feel terrible having to tell her this news, but that after you thought about it, if the roles were reversed, you would definitely want to know about this, so this is why you feel obligated to tell her about this right away.

Offer to be there for her and to spend some social time with her if she does quickly break up with this boyfriend. She'll likely be lonely, so your company may really be helpful to her soon after she makes her move.

I'd also recommend that you ask her to keep your name out of the discussion with this boy. Simply request that she tell him that someone she knows witnessed his behavior and that she is not going to disclose who that person was. You should be able to give her enough details such that she can confront him in a way that makes him know he was indeed seen.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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