DR. WALLACE: I'm a 19-year-old guy and I just finished my first year of college. Over the course of the last year, I developed a solid group of friends that I really like spending time with and that I'm looking forward to hanging out with over this summer.

What's gnawing on me, however, is that over the past several months I've developed a huge crush on one of the girls in my "friends" group, and after finally mustering up the courage to ask her out a couple of weeks ago, she rejected me and told me that she only views me as a friend. Now I'm extremely disappointed by her lack of interest in me, but I want to respect her choice and not force anything on her, as I already feel self-conscious enough as it is.

The problem, however, is that she's one of the core people in my friend group, and I see her all the time! The more I see her now, the more I find myself wishing that she was interested in me, and I can barely stand to be around her because of how desperately I want to be with her.

How can I possibly be just a friend with this girl when I still have such strong feelings for her? Must I avoid her and change social circles in order to protect myself from feeling hurt and disappointed all of the time? — Beyond smitten, via email

BEYOND SMITTEN: Do not avoid or step away from this social circle! Life is full of disappointments and frustrations, so use this experience to further your learning curve in life. The good news is you still get to socialize with this girl and all of the other friends you have in this group.

Focus on being the best friend you can and follow your instincts not to push this particular lady any further into going on a date with you. She may never change her mind or feel any differently about you, but there is a very small percentage of a chance that she might over time. Be respectful, give her space and live your life as you normally do. Be yourself and relax. She knows you have interest in her now, so if anything is to change for her going forward, she can approach you again anytime to give you a chance to know her better. And even if she doesn't, she might be a person who can introduce you to another girl who might be interested in dating you.

Appreciate the fact that you think she's awesome, and then leave it there. You'll gain nothing by obsessing over her constantly, so do your utmost to think about this situation intellectually and act accordingly going forward. Finally, don't avoid her in the group. Smile, speak to her and be a perfect, calm gentleman in all of your future interactions. She will appreciate that, and you will hone your skills at dealing with your emotions as a worthy bonus toward your own interpersonal development.

WHY DO PEOPLE DRESS UP DOGS IN CLOTHES?

DR. WALLACE: Why do people dress their dogs in clothes? I think it looks ridiculous to see a little dog on a leash walking around in the springtime or summer wearing a sweater or little doggie clothing sleeve of some sort.

I'm 16 and I don't have as many different sweaters as our next-door neighbor's dog does. This pampered pooch has many colorful sweaters and vests, and he even has a collar that looks like a necktie "for special occasions," as my elderly neighbor puts it. What is up with this madness? The dog just goes along with it because my neighbor constantly gives him treats from a little bag she buys at the pet store. My father just laughs, and my mom tells her that she has a cute dog, but I think she's out of her mind. Why do some people dress up their dogs? Is it a form of mental illness? — Bewildered by this, via email

BEWILDERED BY THIS: Some people place a higher degree of emphasis and value on interactions with their pets than others do. For some, a small pet like a dog that can be "dressed up" becomes a replacement for a child that has grown to become an adult with a life of his or her own.

Usually, there is no harm in this as long as the pet is safe and healthy. When you see a dog in a sweater or vest, the odds are pretty good that that particular pooch is catered to quite well in terms of food and attention.

Some adults especially find themselves lonesome, and a loving pet becomes a very important companion. This accounts for some of the more eccentric outfits you see. In my opinion, this is usually harmless to all parties unless the pet becomes too hot in the summer with the extra layer of insulation. Most owners who apply sweaters to dogs also provide lots of water and air conditioning in their vehicles for their canine friends, so in the end, the pet is usually well cared for.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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