DR. WALLACE: I'm a preteen, but almost a teenager, as I just turned 12 in May. I have a problem to ask your advice about. I feel like I'm being treated like I'm still in kindergarten. Why? My parents just told me they are going to put a baby monitor in my room for "safety" purposes!

I'm totally against this, but I can't seem to get them to change their minds because my mom is a big worrier and my father just wants her to not chirp about her fears all day. So, Dad is going along with Mom's ridiculous idea.

Don't you agree that putting a baby monitor in a 12-year-old girl's room is humiliating? I feel like Mom's going to be asking me to put a binky in my mouth next to help me fall asleep faster.

Anything you can suggest that I can use to point out to my parents how crazy this is will be most appreciated. — Not a Baby, via email

NOT A BABY: It does not appear that you can stop your parents from doing this, as you are a child and live in their household. However, it does seem a bit extreme to me for a child of your age to have such a device set up in the first place. Is there anything I'm missing here?

If, for example, you have a serious medical condition that could warrant nighttime monitoring, then my perspective would change. If you were recovering from an accident or injury, the same would be true. Has there been any uptick in crime in your neighborhood? What I'm driving at here is that your parents are placing this monitor into your room at age 12, but apparently, you didn't have one for at least the past few years. Has anything changed?

I suggest an open conversation with both parents at once to ask what the reason is for the constant monitoring they wish to implement. It's entirely possible they might have a valid reason.

ARE WE EVEN SIBLINGS?

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 years old and my brother is 18; as far as we knew, we had the same mother and father.

Without our parents' knowledge, we decided to take a DNA test to get some background information on our family history. We've often wondered about this, but we've never said anything to our parents about our curiosity. And by the way, our parents are the best! They are fair but firm with their rules and they always look out for us and our best long-term interests. We love them and they love us so much.

I'm writing to you now because these tests came back. The information they provided has indicated that we are not full siblings, but we do likely share some DNA. Does that mean we're not really brother and sister after all? Maybe one of us was adopted or something? — Supposedly Siblings, via email

SUPPOSEDLY SIBLINGS: You may well have suspected that you were not full brother and sister, but the fact that you've done this research does give you a better understanding of how the two of you are connected.

There are two different possible relationships between you and your brother:

No. 1: You could be half siblings. If this were the case, you each would have received genetic material from either the same mother or the same father, but not both.

No. 2: You may not be genetic siblings at all. This would mean you two don't share DNA from either a common mother or father.

It could be that perhaps one or both of you were adopted. At this point, I would suggest an open and honest discussion with your parents to have them explain things to you.

But do take note: These people are absolutely your mother and father, no matter what DNA you do or don't all share in common. They have loved you both, raised you both and provided for each of your individual needs over your lifetimes. So, begin any discussion with loving praise of your parents. Let them know that you'd like more specific details about your genetics, but that you will always love them as the great parents they are.

And there is one last point to consider. You may want to get a copy of your birth certificate, since you may need it as you get older for employment or social security purposes. But don't start out by requesting these documents. Have the discussion first, and sometime thereafter, you can raise this issue.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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