DR. WALLACE: I live with my father and my grandmother. I love them both very much, but there are times when I really get confused on who I should listen to.

Many times, my grandmother will tell me to do something, and then my dad will say: "No, don't do that. Do this." Then my grandmother gets mad, and I'm always caught in the middle. I've told each of them many times to get together and set up rules for what they tell me, but they never do.

Yesterday, my grandmother told me to clean my room when I got home from school. When my dad came home, he got mad and told me to start studying because I need to prepare for final exams. I started studying, and my grandmother got mad and told me to finish cleaning my room. The house belongs to my grandmother. What should I do in this situation? — Mixed Signals, via email

MIXED SIGNALS: You are quite correct to feel as you do. You're currently in a classic no-win situation. One of the two adults in your life has to immediately take the lead responsibility and bring some rationality to your situation. I vote for your dad.

Talk to him alone, and tell him how confused you are because of the contradictory instructions you are constantly given. Make sure he understands how disconcerting this situation is for you.

Then ask your father to talk this matter over with your grandmother and come up with a workable solution right away. Meanwhile, next time you're caught in the middle, obey your father.

If this situation persists, meet with your grandmother alone. Tell her how much you love and respect her, and how tough the situation is on you. Let her know that you've even gone so far as to write to a column to ask for advice and that you were advised to follow your father's instructions because he is your parent.

MY HIGH SCHOOL DAYS WERE GREAT!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a loyal follower of your column. In the past, you have stated that the teen years are usually filled with happiness or despair. I've read letters from so many different teens with so many different experiences.

So, this got me thinking, how would you rate your own teen years? I really want to know! — Curious, via email

CURIOUS: I was most fortunate to spend my teen years in Gary, Indiana, as a student at Emerson High School. I can honestly say those were some of the best years of my life. I had many great friends and teachers, and I was fortunate enough to pass all of my classes and graduate just in time to join the Navy, where I spent two years at sea. Whenever my schedule permits, I return to Northwest Indiana to visit lifelong friends.

More than anything else, the quality of our friendships determines how happy we are at the school we attend and how fondly we will remember those days once we grow older. I've made good friends at every stop in my professional career, but I most enjoy seeing my old high school friends.

I grew up in a different era, long before social media became the norm, but I can honestly say that the friendships then were just as strong and valuable as the friendships of today.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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