DR. WALLACE: I've just been told by my boyfriend of two years that it's probably time for us to end our relationship. We're both college students this year, but he's planning to attend graduate school next fall about 200 miles away. In our part of the country, that equates to about a four-hour drive, so it would have been theoretically possible for us to stay in touch, at least on weekends, as I will be returning for my third year of college at my existing university.

We met through mutual friends a few years ago, and we were both thrilled to find each other. That carried us forward for about six months. At that point, we kind of hit "cruise control" and fell into a comfortable, yet uneventful routine.

You may expect me to tell you that I'm devastated and ask what I should do about that. But my actual reaction is one of relief! I can't exactly put my finger on why his breakup announcement was so easily digested by my mind and my psyche.

So, why do you think I feel relieved by this news? What does that mean, if anything? — Surprised by My Own Reaction, via email

SURPRISED BY MY OWN REACTION: It could be that you knew deep down (subconsciously) that this relationship was not truly right for you over the long term. But like many people who are in a relationship that is comfortable but not exciting or passionate, it was easier to stick with it day to day, week to week and month to month.

Many if not most people in these circumstances find it easier to simply stay put and not feel lonely and not have to announce a split. In your case, it seems that he actually did you a favor by initiating the breakup discussion for you, and since you knew deep down that you would not be with him for a lifetime commitment, you accordingly experienced the feelings of relief that you've shared.

Your situation also may give us all pause to wonder how many individuals remain in relationships that they consciously or unconsciously know are not ever going to be right over the long run. Yet day to day, they continue forward for a variety of reasons. And some reasons may indeed be quite valid and logical, such as staying put to afford a child or children the benefit of a two-parent household.

I'm interested to hear more from readers on this topic. If you have an opinion or interesting example to share, please email me and join the discussion.

I DON'T FIT INTO MANY OF THE CLOTHES THEY WEAR

DR. WALLACE: I have two close girlfriends, and all three of us go to the same high school and are in the same grade. We've been friends for about eight years.

The two of them have almost the same body sizes as they are exactly the same height and very close in weight. I'm much taller and weigh more than they do. I notice that they will sometimes show up at school or a social event wearing the exact same shoes, tops or dresses. It's kind of like the look you see sometimes with twins, but they are, of course, not twins!

I feel left out when this happens! The good news is they are both very close to me, and our friendship is steady and strong. So I know they are not trying to make me feel bad at all, but still, at times I find that my feelings feel a bit hurt. How can I avoid feeling bad that I'm not included in their wardrobe similarities? — One of Three Great Friends, via email

ONE OF THREE GREAT FRIENDS: I recommend that instead of focusing on the clothing, you could become the leader of your group of friends when it comes to accessories.

Think about bracelets, necklaces or ankle decor and even hats, beanies and scarves. Basically, anything that fits your group's taste could become a signature look for the three of you. At first, you may want to buy three of one accessory and give the two extra ones to your friends as a gift. (Be sure, just in case, that the initial items you buy are returnable for a full refund!)

Then, over time, you can become the leader to arrange shopping trips to big-box stores, small, independent shops and outdoor spring and summer markets that prove to be fertile grounds to find unique, fun accessories for all of you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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