DR. WALLACE: I live in a single-parent household; it's just my mom, my younger sister and me. My mom works really hard, and she also has a part-time editing job that she can do from home at night and on weekends.
My sister and I always get everything we need for school, and in fact we are allowed to buy new clothes and shoes. Some of my friends have two parents who both work and they don't get to spend as much money on their wardrobe as we do.
This led to a few acquaintances at school spreading rumors that our family is extremely wealthy and that I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Nothing could be further from the truth, since my mother works hard for every single dollar she earns. On top of that, I've been aware for the past several years that my father (who lives 2,000 miles away) has not paid child support in over five years.
There are times I want to tell some of these other kids at school about our situation, but so far, I've said nothing. Should I just continue to ignore them, or would it be appropriate to let people know just how hard my mother works and how much she wants to provide for my sister and me? — Lucky to Have a Wonderful Mother, via email
LUCKY TO HAVE A WONDERFUL MOTHER: You have every right to inform your classmates and a few rude acquaintances that you decidedly do not come from an extremely wealthy family. Since those rumors are absolutely false, you have every right to refute them, but do so in a very calm and matter-of-fact manner.
Mention that your mother works very hard at two jobs and that she does everything possible to provide for you and your sister.
Then simply smile at them and tell them how proud you are of your mother and how lucky you are to have her. Tell them that she puts your needs above her own and that you plan to do the same if you have children someday.
HE CALLS ME A SELLOUT
DR. WALLACE: My older brother is going to a community college, and he plays in a rock band with his friends most weekends. They actually have some regular gigs at local restaurants.
I'm an athlete who is four years younger than he is and I love to keep my hair really short. I kind of have the "shaved head" look with just a small amount of hair spiking out. My brother calls me a "sellout" and says that I do everything "for the man," but the reality is there are several players on our team who have hair much longer than mine. My hairstyle is my own personal choice — nothing more, nothing less.
Of course, my older brother would not know this since he has never attended a sporting event. He plays guitar out of tune, but he does have a head of long hair that makes many girls envious.
What can I do to get him to understand that I like my hair the way that it is and that it makes me comfortable when I play sports? I also like the look and the low maintenance. How can I get him to understand and appreciate where I'm coming from?
And for the record, I'm a better athlete than he is a musician! — His Younger and Smarter Brother, via email
HIS YOUNGER BROTHER: Well, I doubt that you're ever going to get him to appreciate where you're coming from, but you might eventually get him to understand it. Simply tell him what you told me, focusing on the low maintenance factor and the fact you like the look of your hair.
Then tell him that you think his hair is fantastic since it is perfect for an aspiring musician. Tell him you think he's getting better all the time and that you plan to watch one of his shows soon. Then show up, support his band and clap for his efforts, no matter if he plays in or out of tune.
I trust this can help shift your brother's focus away from your hair and toward the things he's interested in. It's always good to get along with all your siblings, especially the older ones whenever possible. But stay true to yourself and never make any changes in your own life simply to try to make him happy.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: ErikaWittlieb at Pixabay
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