DR. WALLACE: A guy that I met via friends of friends asked me out recently and I agreed. He told me we would grab some quick food and then go on an adventurous date that he was sure I would enjoy.

Well, I thought we would eat at a cafe or outdoor restaurant or something like that, but instead he just drove his car through a fast-food drive-thru.

Then he took the food and me to a tattoo parlor on the far side of our town. Apparently, he had an appointment to get a tattoo that was scheduled for about two hours. He rolled up his sleeves and I could see he already had many other tattoos. His idea for this date was to eat while we were sitting there and then talk for a few hours to get to know each other. But my big surprise was that he had a female tattoo artist all lined up to put a small 1-inch tattoo on me that would take about an hour. He said he was going to pay for my tattoo so that's why he saved money on our food for this date.

However, I was uncomfortable with the whole idea. I declined the tattoo offer even though he persisted in asking me to do it again every 15 minutes during the whole two hours that we were there. He only stopped asking me to get a tattoo when he realized there wasn't enough time for me to start once his was almost done.

Overall, I would say the date was not a good one for me even though he seemed nice enough in conversation. But it really did bother me that he was so, so pushy trying to get me to get a tattoo right then and there.

He asked me out again, but I've told him so far that I'm pretty busy and I'd think about it. Do you think I should date him again or just let it go as this first date made me so uncomfortable? — Still a Blank Canvas, via email

STILL A BLANK CANVAS: I'd recommend that you do some research on this guy. Ask your friends that led to you dating him what they know about him and what else they can find out about him before you make a final decision.

It's also always good to mull things over with no time pressure whenever you are uncertain in a situation like this. Your date does indeed sound as though it was awkward and quite a surprise, and the fact that he got a tattoo in front of you is not the issue I would focus on. Rather, my concern is how much pressure you feel he put on you to do something that you came into the date totally unprepared for and not ready to engage in.

If part of his personality is to push you in directions you're uncomfortable going in, that's definitely a red flag that should not be ignored. You must therefore be sure this was a "one-off" (to press you to get a tattoo) because if he is likely to pressure you in any other way, it would be best to avoid a second date with him. Do careful research and listen to your gut instincts. From here (if you ever see him again) he must be perfectly compatible and easygoing for you to be able to feel comfortable around him.

WE CAN'T SEEM TO FIND A SUITABLE COMPROMISE

DR. WALLACE: My partner and I wish to be married someday, but I'd like a large wedding with all of my family and friends, and he wishes to just elope and have a justice of the peace ceremony.

We've discussed coming up with a compromise, but he's not into having a formal wedding whether there are 100 people there or 30. He's uncomfortable with the whole idea of a public wedding.

Can you think of a good compromise for us in this situation? And if you can't come up with a suitable compromise, which idea would you support, his or mine? — I'd Like the Bells and Whistles, via email

I'D LIKE THE BELLS AND WHISTLES: The perspective on a wedding is most important to the two individuals making the commitment together, not the audience, family, friends, co-workers and so forth.

If you wish for a happy union, keep your partner happy if there is such a high level of discomfort on his end. You don't want to look back later and feel you forced a very uncomfortable wedding ceremony upon him.

As for a compromise, if you agree to the low-key wedding with just the two of you, perhaps you can see if he will agree later to meet with some of your family and friends in small groups for a dinner or other similar outing so that everyone can spend at least a little time together to offer their congratulations.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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