DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl who needs to lose about 20 pounds. My older brother is a great athlete, and he's perfectly fit and in great shape. He runs 3 miles a day, and he recently told me that I should start out by running a mile a day and then gradually build myself up to longer runs from there.

Well, I went out and tried to run three different times, and each time I could only run for a minute or two before I got extremely tired and frustrated. Each time, I had to stop, turn around and walk home in shame and humiliation. Now I'm afraid to try anymore since I already know I can't run even a half-mile, much less any more. I don't want to tell my brother about this, and I don't know what to do.

I'd like to exercise, but I feel really stuck at the moment. Do you have any suggestions on how I can figure out a way to run a mile soon? — Want To Get Going, via email

WANT TO GET GOING: I do have a suggestion for you. At this early first stage, don't worry about running at all. Instead, try walking as briskly as you can, as far as you can, within reason. Start out planning to do a five- or 10-minute brisk walk and see how it goes.

See if you can build up your endurance gradually by walking briskly wearing loose-fitting clothes and comfortable shoes.

You might be pleased to hear brisk walking can give you the same type of basic aerobic benefits that jogging does. These benefits take a little longer to reveal themselves, but they will definitely be there, so plan now to stick with it.

Walking briskly can help you burn roughly 300 calories per hour, tone your muscles and help you build overall endurance. The toning will really help you, as you'll gradually tone your legs, hips and backside. Also, walking is much safer than jogging, so this is another good benefit for you. So, plan now to get started tomorrow, and plan to stick with a brisk walking program so that you'll be able to see the results over time.

Start out slowly and seek to add a few minutes of time every three or four walks, and within a few weeks I trust your self-esteem and confidence will rise accordingly. Try to get in a brisk walk every day, or at least five times a week, if at all possible.

Then, once you've mastered the brisk walking scenario, you can consider adding some light jogging to the mix, and you'll gradually build up endurance in that manner as well.

I'M LUCKY NOW DESPITE BEING ASHAMED OF MY START

DR. WALLACE: I've learned a hard lesson! I'm a girl who is 17 and had never been asked out on a date until about three months ago. Many of my girlfriends began dating almost a year sooner than I did.

When I finally did get asked out, I was so desperate that I accepted the invitation even though I knew the guy was no big catch and was not a person I knew at all through my primary social circle of friends.

Well, he took me on our first date to a "make out" location and pressured me to be physical in one form or another. Even though I was not really ready for anything like that, I compromised and did a few things I'm not proud of now. Our second and third dates were similar, and when I asked him if we could go out to the movies or to see some live music, he just laughed.

Eventually, but definitely too slowly, I broke things off with him after one month of nothing but repetitive physical activity. I never saw the inside of a restaurant or even a drive-thru window of a fast-food place. And of course there were no movies or music events that we attended together.

So, after feeling down on myself and moping for three weeks, I got asked out on a date by a guy who was well known to one of my close friends. She vouched for his character, and I accepted the date, even though I was really nervous on our first date. Well, my fears were unfounded since he was a perfect gentleman. We've now been dating for nearly two months, and he has never pressured me once for anything physical. We do hold hands, kiss and flirt with each other, but it's all very natural and comfortable.

I don't really have a big, tough question to ask you, so I guess I just want other girls who may read my letter here know that they should never, ever give in to pressure. Not only is it not worth it; it's detrimental to one's self-image. I consider myself really lucky to have met a great guy after such a lousy first experience. Thanks for letting me get my story off of my mind in a way that may help another girl or two someday. — My Shame Will Never Be Repeated, via email

MY SHAME WILL NEVER BE REPEATED: Your letter will definitely help several other girls in the future. Getting started dating is difficult for many teenagers, no matter who they are.

Feeling that you need to give in to be accepted or to continue a relationship is a trap that many teenagers sadly fall into, but I am very happy for you and proud to hear that you have learned a valuable lesson. A guy like your first date does not deserve to be in your presence ever again. You are now in control of your dating career and you know that there are good, nice guys who you can feel comfortable spending time with. I know that you are now a changed person, and I wish you sustained happiness when it comes to your close personal relationships for the rest of your life.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: kinkate at Pixabay