DR. WALLACE: I am about to graduate high school and am really excited to be moving out of the house. I will be attending a college about two hours away from my hometown. I can't wait for this new chapter in my life and to enter adulthood. For about three years now I've really wanted to get a certain and specific tattoo, and I even know the exact location I want to have it applied.

What is this tattoo going to be? Well, I want to get a tattoo of my grandma's signature! She is really important to me, and I want to have the tattoo as a memory of her. However, my parents are not fans of this idea. They have always been against tattoos of any sort, for any reason and in any location.

My parents even said that they wouldn't allow me to come and stay at home during breaks if I got one. I really want to get one and believe it's for a good reason, so should I just go ahead and get it? — I Want the Tattoo, via email

I WANT THE TATTOO: Your letter did not mention if you are 18 years old yet or not. If you're under 18, you'll need parental permission, but as you know, once you're an adult you can proceed as you wish.

Your parents staunchly oppose this idea, even though your proposed tattoo is planned to be a tribute to a family member.

Why not wait a year or two to think this over? Remember, you can add a tattoo at any time during your lifetime. But to change or remove one is not an easy matter, so do think this over carefully.

No matter what decision you make, I do have a comment about your parents' threat to bar you from visiting their home if you proceed with the tattoo. I feel this comment and position is out of line and unacceptable. Over the course of your lifetime, there will be many other things your parents will disagree with. To start putting a "bar" on your visits sends the exact opposite message that parental unconditional love should send.

Think about what a world we would have if every parent cut off their children for doing something during their lifetimes that the parents didn't approve of.

MUST I VISIT WHEN WE CLASH SO MUCH?

DR. WALLACE: My aunt and I have had a strained relationship for years, and it seems like every time we talk or spend time together, we get into an argument over some topic or another. Some of the topics are indeed big ones, but others are truly trivial. Since I live with my parents, I see this aunt more than I'd like to, and if I know in advance she's planning to visit our family home, I try to head out to visit friends before she arrives.

I'm 18 years old now and I think I should be able to make my own decisions about which family members I do or do not want to interact with, but my mom is adamant about me remaining close to my aunt. In fact, this summer, my mom is requiring my sister and me to take a trip to visit my aunt and stay with her in her home for a full week!

I really do not want to do this! It seems to me that I should be able to spend my summer the way that I want to, but because my sister is only 12 years old, someone has to go with her on the trip and both of my parents will be busy with work during this time. I find it so unfair that I'm being forced into visiting with my aunt this way, and I feel as though my mom is not respecting my independence in the slightest. What can I do about this? — Don't Want To Go, via email

DON'T WANT TO GO: I agree that at 18 you can make some decisions for yourself. However, since you are living now in your family home, I suggest you be a team player here and think about your little sister.

I know you would not like to go to visit this aunt, but I advise you to do it to provide your little sister a vacation and perhaps see if you can also improve your relationship with your aunt even slightly. Try your best not to be drawn into any arguments with her. While there, focus on your sister and do you best to keep her happy and busy and hopefully the time will pass quickly.

Someday you will have your own living space and you can then decide even more specifically where you will and will not spend your time. But in this case, at 18 and living at home, I suggest you help your parents and your little sister the best you can this time around.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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