DR. WALLACE: A certain girl and I have been best friends for more than four years. When we first became best friends, we promised each other that we would never steal a boyfriend from one another.

Last fall, she started dating a really cute guy. The first time I met him, he gave me the eye and the second time I saw him he asked me for my telephone number. I told him that since he was dating my best friend I would not be interested in going out with him. He even tried to date me after he broke up with her after Christmas, but I would have no part of it because I knew she still had strong feelings for him.

Then last month I met a nice guy at a church picnic. We really hit it off and started dating. After about two weeks I introduced him to my best friend. Then a few days later my date and I were going to the movies, and I asked him to stop by my best friend's house so I could return a sweater I had borrowed from her. I took it in to her and she walked me out to the car to say hello to my boyfriend.

Three days later, the guy I was dating called me and said he no longer wanted to date me, but wondered if we could remain friends. I didn't know what to say, so I just said, "I guess so."

Well, it turned out that I lost two friends at the same time. My best friend and the guy I was dating are now dating and she didn't even have the courtesy to tell me that he had asked her out. I called her last night and told her I was very upset that she had stolen my boyfriend after we had made a promise. She couldn't think of anything to say, so she blurted out, "I didn't steal him. He stopped dating you before I decided to go out with him. I made sure of that."

It really makes me sick to my stomach to think that these two "friends" of mine are now together. My sister always said that best friends stay friends forever, but now I don't think that's true, do you? I'd also like you to tell me who was more to blame, my ex best friend or my ex boyfriend? — Nameless, Tyler, Tex.

NAMELESS: This is a rough blow and there's no real relief from the sting of this double loss except time. Your former best friend did you wrong and merits, as far as I'm concerned, the lion's share of the blame in the matter.

Your best bet is to forget about both of them, seek out new friendships, and get on with your life.

ALL DATES DON'T NEED ROMANCE

DR. WALLACE: I'm not dating anyone right now, but I'm not desperate for a date. A certain guy at our school has asked me out, but I have no romantic feelings toward him, even though he is sort of cute.

My sister says I'd be wasting his and my time by going out with him because I'm not turned on by him. My mom is encouraging me to go out with him because she knows his mother and says that he is "a good boy." Your response will be appreciated. — Jessica, Springfield, Ohio.

JESSICA: There's no reason why you can't have fun on a date without also looking for romance. Why not give it a try? If it doesn't work out, you don't have to go out with him again.

HE MIGHT STILL BE YOUR BOYFRIEND

DR. WALLACE: You recently told a girl the best way to ruin a relationship with a boy is to engage in sex with him.

Not so! I am 16 and last year my boyfriend and I started a wonderful sexual relationship. Instead of breaking us up, sex made us closer than ever in more ways than one. We were totally in love, mentally, spiritually and physically.

I'll admit that we are not going together now, but that's because he found a girl he cared a little more for than me. Let's just say we are now "divorced," but it doesn't take away the wonderful love we shared. — Nameless, Hobart, Ind.

NAMELESS: Did it ever occur to you that if you had not had a sexual relationship with this boy, he still might be your boyfriend?

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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