DR. WALLACE: Lately I've noticed that I'm constantly comparing myself to others. By this I mean that I compare everything I have and do to other people, their lives and their actions. And usually when I do this, the end results are not too pretty from my point of view.

It's making me miserable, and I would really like to develop a gratitude practice that can help me gain a new appreciation for life, but I'm not sure what would help me right now.

My parents have told me to just think about how much more I have in comparison to people in some other countries, but that only makes me feel like a terribly selfish and bad person since I know deep down how lucky most people here in America like me are compared to a lot of the rest of the citizens of the world.

How can I develop gratitude for my current circumstances instead of always seeming to be wanting more? — Feeling Unsatisfied, via email

FEELING UNSATISFIED: It's natural to notice what goes on around us, but for most people, it's a fleeting study and we drift back easily to the default of concerning ourselves with our own lives, responsibilities, dreams and goals.

You've articulated a good first step, which is to notice that the comparisons you're making are not helping you to feel better about yourself or your life situation. You can't control what others have, what they do or how they go about their lives. Always remember that when you feel a tinge of jealousy, your mind is focusing only on your perception of their apparent success or happiness. In reality, you are likely not aware of the challenges others face, the shortcomings and regrets they have, their limitations in certain areas and even the daily and ongoing large frustrations they face.

Making yourself aware of this can hopefully move your focus away from others and back toward your own life. Realize that you have a great deal of control over both your life and how you mentally process what you do have.

Take the time to write out a journal listing the positive things you notice in your life. Also list a few of your true dreams and goals there. Don't enter anything negative at all, simply because you've already demonstrated proficiency in that area. This journal's focus should be positive and forward-looking. Being able to read your words and taking the time to hand write out new entries will likely be both quite cathartic and encouraging for you. Always remember that you have a lot of control over your thoughts, attitudes and moods. Create the habit of being grateful for what you do have and run your own race in life. Don't compare yourself to anyone but yourself and take pride in the progress you know you'll be able to make in this area.

WHY DO PARENTS' QUESTIONS GET PRINTED?

DR. WALLACE: I was surprised to read in one of your recent columns that you answered a question that was asked of you directly from a parent, not a teenager or young adult.

Aren't you in the business of providing advice to young people like high school and college students? I think parents can write to someone else about their issues, don't you? — Somewhat Surprised, via email

SOMEWHAT SURPRISED: The great preponderance of questions answered in this column indeed comes in from high school and college-aged students and young adults. I also respond to occasional interesting letters from children as young as 11 or 12 years old as well, depending on the topic and the related content being discussed.

Although it is rare by comparison, I do answer some questions from parents when their questions relate directly to the teens in their household because issues that affect teens are often greatly influenced by rules and regulations that parents impose. Therefore, interacting with parents will at times provide a good forum for discussions on issues that many families around the nation and world can also relate to. It's important for families to function well as a unit, so interacting directly with parents in this column from time to time helps to address issues that multiple family members are affected by, especially teenagers.

And it's not only parents! Occasionally an aunt, uncle or grandparent will write in with an interesting point of view that I deem worthy of discussion as well. In the end, my goal is to help young people in any way I can, and oftentimes advising other family members helps to accomplish this overall goal.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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