DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old guy and live with my parents and my 19-year-old sister. She has been seeing a guy for over a year and it wouldn't surprise me if they got married in the next few years. Her boyfriend has a sister my age. I've seen her several times when our two families have been together. She is very nice and not bad looking.
Last Saturday I was at the mall with a buddy and I saw her and a friend in a bookstore and we stopped and said hello. Before we left, I asked "Rosa" if she would go out with me sometime and she said, "Call me."
When I came home I told my sister about seeing Rosa and said I had asked her out. I thought she'd be happy for me, but she said she didn't want me to go out with her. When I asked why, she said it would be "too heavy" for a brother and a sister to be dating a brother and a sister.
I don't think her philosophy makes sense. What do you think? Please hurry with your answer. — Pedro, Las Cruces, N.M.
PEDRO: I think your sister is not thinking rationally. Identical twins have married identical twins and had successful marriages. My father married my mother and his brother married my mother's sister and they all lived happily ever after - well, as happily as two Irish couples could!
HIS MOTHER DESPISES ME BECAUSE I'M AN UNWED MOTHER
DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and dating a guy who is 23. He's a good guy and he says he loves me and wants to marry me. I care for him a lot and marriage to him is a possibility.
The hang-up is Alex's mother. When I was 16, I got pregnant and since I don't believe in abortion I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Emma is now 2 and lives with my mother and me. She is most important in my life and I love her with all my heart and soul. Of course, Alex knows Emma and seems to like her. Alex and his mother are very close because she raised him by herself. His father was killed in an auto accident when he was only 3 years old.
Alex's mother despises me because I am an unwed mother. She rarely talks to me and lately I have refused to go to her house because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. Alex admits that his mother does not like me and doesn't want him to marry me. He thinks that in time, she will come around and learn to accept me. He also admits that she probably will never accept Emma as her granddaughter.
All this makes me feel very uneasy. I know that it will be entirely up to me to decide if I want to marry Alex, but I'd appreciate your input with regard to the situation. - Nameless, Joplin, Mo.
NAMELESS: Plan to marry Alex only when you are convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that he loves you and will be a wonderful, loving father to Emma and that you truly love him and you want to share the rest of your life with him.
If the love I mentioned is evident, it will overpower the close tie between Alex and his mother. If he won't concede that his mother will drop to number three in importance in his life, behind you and Emma, do not consider marrying him. If that's the case, he's not ready for such a commitment and his mother's influence could erode the marriage.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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