DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl who is considered to be a "tomboy," since I'm quite athletic, I love the outdoors and I'm always playing one sport or another. I also like to do rock climbing, competitive hiking and a variety of other outdoor activities. Let's just say I'm not the type of person who likes to sit at home watching movies or posting cute photos of myself to social media accounts.

The good news is I'm pretty talented athletically, so much so that I can often beat boys my own age in various athletic games, including my own boyfriend. He sometimes gets mad about this, but he loves me just the same! The other day, we planned to play a set of "best of three" games of one-on-one basketball, and I beat him soundly in the first two games!

I enjoy who I am and how I approach life, but my parents worry I spend too much time playing sports and pursuing outdoor activities. My mom especially wants me to dress up in more feminine clothes more often, but I only like to get dressed up for special occasions like a prom or similar special event. The rest of the time, I prefer to wear functional comfortable clothes that allow me to continue to pursue my interests that fit my lifestyle. Do you think my parents, especially my mom, are out of bounds here? — Very Athletic Girl, via email

VERY ATHLETIC GIRL: I do feel your mother is pushing you too hard in this regard. Today's femininity means being yourself, not conforming to anyone else's definition of the term.

Being a strong, beautiful, athletic woman is a wonderful thing and should be celebrated, not changed. I agree that your wardrobe style and choices fit your life very well, and there is no reason for you to feel the need to adjust things at all. One suggestion I can give you, however, is to involve Mom whenever you do have a special occasion like a prom or other "dress up" event. Since you wear these types of clothes only once in a while, it would likely make Mom happy to be involved in your wardrobe ensemble during these times, and it would be a small but effective price for you to pay to involve her early on to make her a part of these special events.

MY MOM THINKS OUR IDEA IS IN POOR TASTE

DR. WALLACE: My wedding is coming up soon and my spouse-to-be and I have decided that we don't want to go through the whole "gift registry" process! We already have many hand-me-down items from various relatives that will help set us up in our new home, and we don't need brand-new appliances that will be more expensive than the functional ones we are to have access to.

Therefore, we are looking to perhaps ask our wedding guests to give us monetary gifts instead. My mother feels this is very tacky and in poor taste, but to us it makes perfect sense.

Do you think we would be wrong if we requested only cash gifts? — The Bride-to-be, via email

THE BRIDE-TO-BE: I think it can be done in a tactful manner, and I further suggest that you open the door to some hybrid gifts as well. By this I mean that you could state that your preference is to receive monetary gifts but that you are absolutely open to other types of gifts, especially if they are unique or heartfelt for some special reason by the person giving the gift.

You could create a wedding website that explains all of this very carefully to your guests. Simply tell them what you told me — that you have many of the appliances you'll need already available to you, and in order to move your new life together in the best way, financial assistance would be the greatest gift at this point in your lives. However, do encourage any wedding attendee who wishes to give a specific physical gift in lieu of a cash gift to absolutely do so, as you'll be most happy to receive any type of gift from anyone attending your wedding ceremony.

This way, you may likely have the best of both gifts, as individuals who are short on time and expertise in buying gifts can revert to offering a monetary gift, and the few individuals who wish to give you special physical gifts can absolutely do so. Best of all, those few nonmonetary gifts likely will be truly special to you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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