DR. WALLACE: I began dating a certain guy because he told me a cute story when we first met. His story pulled on my heartstrings and had me rooting for him in such a way that I felt drawn to him

The story he told me was that he was a skinny geek in eighth grade and a big kid bullied him regularly on the school bus by talking smack to him and flicking his ears with his fingers from the seat behind him so hard that it made him cry.

He told me he went home and told his dad, and they then went out and bought weights to train with. He started to lift regularly, and he developed some muscles and was never bullied again.

Of course, I believed him, until I met a girl that grew up with him! She told me my boyfriend had been a jock athlete in school his entire life and that he's never been bullied at all — ever! In fact, this girl claims he was widely known to be a bully himself. She told me he uses that line on all the girls, and it usually works for him. I feel like a fool. What should I do? We are still dating, and all my girlfriends think I'm lucky to be with him. — Feeling Foolish Now, via email

FEELING FOOLISH NOW: What is lucky is that you have apparently found out about his true character, and not a moment too soon. Now that you know this, I would suggest moving on from the relationship immediately — with one caveat.

First, you need to corroborate her story by finding other individuals who went to school with the two of them during that time frame she mentioned to you.

If and when you can confirm this story to be true, I suggest you move on from this relationship due to his character. But be careful, because the other girl could simply be jealous and might be intentionally leading you astray. This is a great learning opportunity for you, so become your own detective, and take the time to truly sort things out so you will end up knowing the truth, no matter where it takes you. Good luck!

ZOOM LEARNING HAS BENEFITS, TOO

DR. WALLACE: I just wanted to share some of my learning experience during this pandemic. Learning through Zoom classes at home was definitely a learning experience for me and for nearly all my fellow classmates.

Remote learning is hard, and it was a really tough adjustment. We've all found out the hard way that you can't easily replace human connection with a window on a computer screen. But the crazy thing many of my friends and I have discovered is that with the repetitive contact, you don't really feel as alone as you did at first.

In fact, in my case, I've made new and different friends in my class and workgroups. These were kids I probably wouldn't have ever had anything in common with at all, and we would likely have never even spoken to one another back in the days we were all on our high school campus. But now I am able to connect with them because of remote learning, since we are all in an online study group together. It appeared, at first, that I had nothing in common with some of these kids, but once I got to know them online a bit better, I really started to like and respect many of them a lot! It was a strange but quite interesting experience to stretch the number of my friends and acquaintances this way. Now I can honestly say that I have a much bigger and better roster of friends at my school than I ever had back in previous years.

I've also noticed that my motivation process has changed. I've learned to become more self-reliant and self-motivated in order to keep up with and succeed at passing all of my classes.

I'd say I've grown my own internal self-motivation instead of simply relying on my teachers to keep me motivated and to pay attention in class like I did previously, when I was on campus.

I know we hear a lot these days about how difficult and horrible online school can be. I'm sure for some people it is indeed quite difficult, but I simply wanted to let you and your readers know there are some silver linings to online learning, and I, for one, have found some benefits! — Happy With My Development, via email

HAPPY WITH MY DEVELOPMENT: Thank you for your most interesting letter. Your experience is a great example of making the best out of a difficult situation. We have all heard the story or fable of looking at a glass filled 50% with water as being either "half-empty" or "half-full."

You are certainly looking at your proverbial glass as half-full and are doing your best to fill it toward the brim is quickly as possible!

I commend you for being open-minded, practical and determined to improve yourself. Keep up the good work, since developing these traits in a positive way will help you not only in your educational career but also with your interpersonal relationships and your future career.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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