DR. WALLACE: This one particular boy and I have been best friends for 10 years now, and we live in the same neighborhood and go to the same school. We're both only 14, but I've always liked him very much, ever since our days of playing in sandboxes.
But now, I think I'm falling in love with him! He's growing up to be very handsome, and he's still the same friendly, reliable guy I've always known.
Do you think it's possible to find your "one and only" when you're so young? I'm not kidding. I kind of feel we are destined to be together our entire lives! — Young Love, via email
YOUNG LOVE: Anything is possible, but your dating and social life has just begun. You will continue to meet other boys and have many opportunities for relationships in your life before you might finally decide to get married.
It could be possible to date your friend as you both mature, but remember he will be going through the same type of changes and developments that you will.
The two of you already have a special, deep friendship that could be maintained as a lifelong friendship, whether or not you end up romantically involved with each other.
My advice is to put the friendship first, cherish it and don't put undue pressure on it to advance it to something further, especially at your age. If a dating relationship is meant to be, it will be revealed over time, likely many years from now. In the meantime, enjoy his friendship, and focus on that without adding any other pressure on him or yourself.
MY DATES WERE MARRIED
DR. WALLACE: I'm writing to you because I'm pretty disappointed on the one hand and absolutely fuming on the other! Why? This is now the second time I've dated a guy who I found out was married.
I really like the most recent guy, even though I've learned that he's married to someone else. I confronted him about this, and he tells me that his marriage is "on the rocks" and that we should continue to sneak around to see each other. However, I have my morals, and I have told him flatly that I will not be dating any further.
Is there something wrong with me that I'm continually attracted to married men? — Wrong Guys, via email
WRONG GUYS: I suggest you look back at each of your last two relationships and think about how they both started out. Were there warning signs? Were you not able to visit either of their residences? Did one or both of them appear to be a bit secretive or erratic in terms of the timing they could get together with you?
There are many good single men out there, so I'm sure you can find one who you enjoy and who enjoys spending time with you and the two of you can have a successful relationship.
I do not think there's anything wrong with you, nor do I feel you are specifically attracted to married men. You might be a touch naive, a touch inexperienced at noticing the signs, but you appear to have a great head on your shoulders and a good sense of right and wrong. Simply be a bit more proactive in evaluating future guys you date at the beginning of the relationship. Also, don't be afraid to ask a guy early on if he's married, engaged or committed to another relationship.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Photo credit: bonkerelli at Pixabay
View Comments