DR. WALLACE: My three best friends lost their virginity in 2018. They are not what you would call sexually active teens, but all three are glad that they are no longer virgins. We are all 16 years old.
All three told me that they had sex to find out what it was all about. All three also said it wasn't as great as they thought it would be, but they were glad to have experienced it. My friends said that they would not have sex again with these guys who were their very first partners.
I will not be going out and having sex just so I can join the crowd, but I do feel a little left out. I realize that I really shouldn't feel this way, but somehow, I do. I also know you will tell me that to remain a virgin is virtuous, which is why I'm writing to you. I'm sure your answer will make me feel better. - Nameless, Providence, R.I.
NAMELESS: When it comes to tobacco, drugs or premarital sex, being "out" shows intelligence, integrity and, above all, morality. Being tempted happens to us all. The weak succumb, the strong overcome.
Young Lady: You are strong!
YOU WILL BECOME A VERY HAPPY YOUNG LADY
DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and will be attending school in another state next month. For the past year and a half, I've been in a lot of trouble at school and with the police. I got involved with a boyfriend who was a very bad influence on me. I really liked the guy and because of that, I helped him steal cars, break into houses and sell drugs. I also did drugs, drank alcohol and was sexually involved with both him and his brother.
After spending months in juvenile hall, I have been released back to my parents and back to my high school. My parents have arranged for me to live with my aunt and uncle, who live over 1,000 miles away. I'm looking forward to the move because I'm done with my former boyfriend and I want a fresh start.
My only concern is that my bad reputation might follow me. That would be devastating. What can I do to see that this reputation stays in California? — Nameless, Long Beach, Calif.
NAMELESS: This is a wonderful opportunity to start over. The only way your past can travel to your new school is if you talk about it. You should learn from your past mistakes, but you shouldn't advertise them.
Your new classmates will judge you by the way you are with them. If you get involved in school activities, smile a lot, and treat people with kindness — they are sure to respond positively. And you will be a very happy young lady.
The longer you enjoy being happy with your new life, the less you will remember your troubled past!
DAD IS NOT IN POLAND NOW
I'm in the 12th grade. I'm a good student and work hard so I can earn a scholarship to attend college. My school counselor is doing all she can to see that I get one. Of course, my grades will determine that. My dad is from the "old country" (Poland) and wants me to get a part-time job. I had a summer job, but I don't want to jeopardize my grade-point average by working while in school. Your comments are welcome. — Ted, Northwest Ind.
TED: Work experience is good, but never at the expense of your grades or your education. Indeed, if a part-time job kept you from earning a college scholarship, the result would be a net loss of income.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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