DR. WALLACE: I'm 19, and I need your advice — fast! For the past year, I've been seeing a guy who is 20, but we have broken up many times because of his former girlfriend and also my father.

His former girlfriend hates me with a passion. She thinks that I have interfered in their "family." That's because my boyfriend is her baby's father. But that's none of my business. I love this guy very much, and he says he loves me. He said that we never would have had to break up if it wasn't for his baby daughter. His ex threatens to ban him from seeing his baby if he continues to see me. At the moment, we are not going together.

The next problem is my father, who despises my boyfriend more than my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend despises me. You see, I moved out of our house and moved in with this guy, but I had to move back home because he couldn't pay the rent. My father said that if I continue to see my boyfriend, he would ask me to move out of his house.

What should I do? I really don't have a lot of money, and neither does my boyfriend. — Anonymous, via email

ANONYMOUS: Unfortunately for you, the most important female in your boyfriend's life is his baby daughter, not you. His responsibility to his daughter is paramount — and it comes before his relationship to you. Indeed, you might be in third place in this particular situation, behind the baby's mother as well.

I feel you should put your relationship with this guy on hold. He needs to set things in order with his daughter and the baby's mother. His relationship with you is nothing but an avoidance of his real responsibilities. Don't even think about getting back together with him until he has his life straightened out.

And while this guy is straightening out his life, you, too, should follow the same path. Start by making peace with your father! His house is a safe haven when you don't have the funds to support yourself. There are many guys you could date who would not have this much drama and complexity attached as baggage to a potential relationship.

A FLEXIBLE CURFEW MAY BE BEST

DR. WALLACE: I just turned 16 last week. That's an important age because now I can finally start dating! I do have a boyfriend, but we only spend time together at my house. Now we can go out to the movies or to the mall for a bite to eat after school and on the weekends. I'm allowed to date one weekend night, either Friday or Saturday.

My parents and I are discussing curfew hours. Of course, my suggestion is a little bit more liberal than theirs. Without disclosing the curfew times we are debating, I'm asking what you think is fair. My parents said they would consider taking your curfew time into consideration if it is more liberal than theirs. All I'm asking is that you be fair. I'm a good student and a darn good daughter. — Responsible Daughter Who's Ready to Date, via email

RESPONSIBLE DAUGHTER: Instead of a fixed curfew time. I suggest a flexible curfew. The time could be anywhere between 10 p.m. and midnight, depending on the social events, which could include going to the movies or a school event such as a dance or the prom. The curfew could be decided each time by your parents and you prior to the date.

I'm fairly sure your parents are likely to go along with this program. Some situations do require a later curfew; others are more routine and can therefore have an earlier curfew.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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