DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I live with my single mother and little brother. My brother is several years younger than I am, so I end up taking care of him a lot and my mom often thanks me for my help with him. My mother and I are also very close in many other really good ways; however, there's one area that is completely driving me crazy regarding her.

She has all of these rules, suggestions and tidbits of advice that she's constantly putting on me regarding my dating life. I've been allowed to date since I turned 16, and that was eight months ago.

So far, I've done pretty well navigating learning how to date, even though I've had a few small missteps, but they were truly no big deal.

However, my mother's own dating life is a complete and total mess! It seems like just about everything she tells me to do and the rules she applies to me, she breaks herself! Basically, she's not much of a role model in this regard.

Anytime I point out her hypocrisy, she simply shuts me down by saying, "I'm your mother and I make the rules for you — end of story!" She will not talk about anything I brought up. If I start to say something else, she'll always answer me back with the same three words: "end of story!" Is there anything I can do about this? How do you recommend I deal with her hypocrisy? — Daughter Dealing With Double Standards, via email

DAUGHTER DEALING WITH DOUBLE STANDARDS: Your mother can indeed make the rules, irrespective of what she does or does not do herself.

My advice to you would be to let this issue go for now and focus on all of the areas that you and your mother get along on. You're also doing a good job helping your little brother, and there seems to be mostly harmony in your home except for this issue.

I advise that you let this issue go, even though it is very important to you, for the following reasons. First of all, she does have the right to set the rules for your dating life at your age. Second, she's likely embarrassed about her own shortcomings when it comes to her dating life, and she's quite embarrassed for that to be pointed out to her, hence "end of story."

Third, and most importantly, I trust she loves you deeply and wants the very best for you and your life. She's probably applying these rules to you in an effort for you to avoid making the same mistakes she has made, or ones she may even continue to be making.

MY BMI READING CONCERNS ME

DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school athlete who does pretty well in sports. I'm not a tremendously overweight person, but I am stocky to some extent.

However, I'm pretty athletic, and I feel a lot of my stockiness is mainly due to muscle. A friend of mine recently showed me a BMI chart, which measures the body mass index of a person's body weight compared to height.

According to what was shown to me, I'm overweight, although not in the morbidly obese category. Do I really need to adjust my workout routine and dietary intake to start changing my body right now, even though I know I eat pretty healthily already? And for the record, my sports performance has improved every year I've been in high school. — The BMI Chart Concerns Me, via email

THE BMI CHART CONCERNS ME: My take is that the body mass index chart is simply a general rule of thumb, not a firm determinant for every unique individual.

It sounds to me that your body may indeed be one of the exceptions that is not captured as accurately as most others based upon the limitations of this particular index.

The BMI chart has limitations, especially for those individuals of shorter stature who have a high muscle mass. Take some time and do some research on the corpulence index, which was developed by Fritz Rohrer, a Swiss physician. This is widely accepted to be one of the best alternative indexes to the BMI for certain body types. Your research in this regard may end up assuaging your concerns to a large degree.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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