DR. WALLACE: I'm one of two girls living in a single-parent household. I'm the eldest at 17 and my younger sister is 14. We all get along great as my mom is a hard-working, loving and very fair parent. She has rules for us, but she is not hard-nosed about her rules, and she will always listen and carefully think about anything we feel may be unfair. Sometimes in these cases she will adjust her rules to be reasonable, but other times she won't budge one inch. But at least we know she thinks things over carefully either way.

And we're really proud of how hard she works to keep us in our condo and to let us have decent clothes and shoes to wear to school. We both have many friends, and our mom always lets us bring our friends over to our place for a snack, to study or even to watch movies with us on weekends. We both love our mom, and we feel very lucky to have her helping us in our lives.

But recently, I caught my mom sneaking outside to do something. At first, I couldn't tell what she was doing but I finally saw her one day sneaking a cigarette! I was shocked because she's never smoked before, and she always tells us not to smoke anything!

Discovering this was the first shock. Once my mom realized we know, she became much bolder about smoking. She always steps outside to our back or side yard and never smokes in the house. At first, she would only smoke one or two cigarettes a day, but now I'd say it's up to between 10 and 15 per day. That's most of a pack of cigarettes! I've asked her why she started smoking, but she only tells me that she does not want to talk about it.

I'm now worried that her habit is such that her health will soon suffer. She tells me not to worry since she's only been smoking a few months, and it will be a long time before she suffers any damage. However, I'm worried about her health now and my sister and I can't afford to lose her! Is she really safe for many years like she says? — Her Surprised Daughter, via email

HER SURPRISED DAUGHTER: It's never safe to smoke cigarettes, ever. Yes, most damage accumulates over time instead of immediately, but every human body is different, so there is no ironclad guarantee that I can present to you regarding your mother.

Something is likely worrying her on some level in her life. I feel that if you can get another trusted relative to sit down privately with your mother, that would be your best bet. Hopefully whatever is troubling your mother can be discussed and addressed as appropriate.

MY DAD JUST STRUCK AGAIN ON THE VERY SAME ISSUE

DR. WALLACE: Back in high school, when I turned 16, I was allowed to date. But when my parents found out that I wanted to date a guy who was about to turn 18 in five weeks, they stopped me!

I remember being very upset at my parents, especially my father, for several months after that. He told me back then, "When you turn 18 yourself, you can date whoever you want."

Well, guess what? I'm a 19-year-old college student, and I've fallen in love with a guy who is nearly 27. He'll turn 27 in February, and I won't be 20 until April. I took him over to my parents' house to introduce him to them and my father kept staring at him then giving me funny looks.

Anyhow, we've been dating for over eight months now and we're already thinking about getting engaged. I saw my father the weekend after my boyfriend visited my parents and my dad said, "Is this guy already over 30?" I replied that he wasn't even 27 yet but my father started right in again telling me that I'm too young to take up with a guy 8 years my senior. I thought he told me back in high school that I could make my own dating decisions as I pleased once I turned 18. Don't you feel my father is out of line here again? — My Dad Continues to Meddle, via email

MY DAD CONTINUES TO MEDDLE: Your father told you that you could make your own decisions after you turned 18, not that he would approve of your decisions.

He obviously feels strongly enough about you dating "older" guys that he feels the need to speak up. However, you have every right to smile back at him when he does this and say, "All right, I've noted your opinion, so let's just leave it there since it's now my decision."

I personally feel that once both parties in a romantic relationship are 18 or older, they indeed should be afforded the space to make their own decisions. It's fine for someone like a family member to voice an opinion once, but not twice or more. And funny looks count as an opinion in my book so your father is already over the limit. Live your life as you see fit, but do your best to not let these differences in opinion keep you from regular interaction with your family members. Just do your utmost to set boundaries and move the discussion off of this topic since it has been covered already and everyone's opinion is well known.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Andrew Leu at Unsplash