DR. WALLACE: I'm a busy teenage girl who just turned 17 and has a very active social life. I do pretty well in school, but I'll admit I've never been the type of student who studies all hours of the day and night trying to get an "A" grade in each class. I'm basically a "B-" student, but I'm learning a lot in each class as I go along with my high school education.

I also have a messy room most of the time and that's because I'm so busy, not because I don't want it clean and organized. My usual mode is to have a chaotic week, and then finally on a Sunday afternoon I get everything tidied up. But by Wednesday, it looks like an overgrown tropical jungle again! My mom nags me endlessly about cleaning my room and doing my homework earlier than I usually do. What's strange is that I already have my own crazy schedule for getting my homework done and getting my room cleaned up, so her constant chirping to remind me to get those things done actually makes me try less or delays my actions even a bit longer! Why is this? — Beyond a Busy Girl, via email

BEYOND A BUSY GIRL: I believe it is because you subconsciously already have these activities planned and that your current "system" is working to your present satisfaction.

Your mother's reminders, to you, are deemed unnecessary, since you will not change your schedule, but you will not forgo completing these tasks either. After all, you are getting reasonable passing grades in school, and your room does get cleaned up weekly even if there is some quick regression within a few days.

In my opinion, the only thing that would change your behavior would be if your mother were to enact punitive consequences if you don't follow through at least occasionally on her requests. Therefore, I suggest a surprise cleaning once in a while to show your mother that you are listening to her the best you can. Explain that you'll try to keep it up the best you can. Also, study a bit earlier here and there, and be sure she notices. Make no hard promises about his being a daily occurrence at this juncture. Taking a few preventive steps like these will hopefully both lower her rhetoric and blood pressure. It will also likely ensure that no punitive rules are set upon you either.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT HER INFATUATION

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who is 17, and my best friend is a girl of the same age. We have been best friends now for over five years ever since we first met in middle school. We now both attend the same high school and we have many classes together. We are a bit opposite in personalities, but we get along great. I'm really outgoing and have lots of friends and dates, and she is very quiet and introverted. She does open up to me even though she's super shy with everyone else. I really care for her, and we have a really strong friendship bond.

In one of our classes, there is a very handsome, young teacher. He's about 28 or 29 and he teaches science. He knows a lot about astronomy and the solar system, and his class is always fun and enjoyable because he makes the lectures really interesting and he has a friendly manner with all of the students.

Well, my problem is that my best girlfriend is really shy, so she has not dated yet, but she tells me that this teacher is going to be the guy for her! She claims that once she graduates high school, she will be 18 and she can come back to our school to talk to him and see if he will ask her out!

This teacher is very professional and he does not flirt with anyone, ever. I don't know where my friend is getting her ideas from, and she is worrying me. Is there anything I can do about this? — Her Best Friend, via email

HER BEST FRIEND: Instead of telling her that her idea is unrealistic and perhaps even unwise, why not try another approach? I suggest that you do what you can to get her out on a date soon so that her focus can be adjusted.

Since you are outgoing and have many dates, why not use your social skills to set up a double date sometime that includes her? I feel that if she is able to begin socializing with others near her age, her infatuation with this teacher will no longer be her primary focus.

As she eases into her dating life, she will be entering a new world with new experiences that are based in reality, not infatuation from afar. And since she's such a close friend of yours, you can keep in close touch with her to be sure she's doing well and feeling gradually more confident about socializing, which should occur over time.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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