DR. WALLACE: I recently started a new part-time job as a secretary, and my boss won't allow me to wear earbuds in the office, even when I'm just working on tedious tasks on the computer. The discomfort I experience while working in silence has caused me to realize how much stimulation I usually have in my life. I eliminate silence in my environment every chance I get by playing podcasts, music, videos, etc., while I go about my day.

Even when I'm in the shower I'll have music playing, and I can't remember the last time I ate a meal by myself without being on my phone or on the computer at the same time. All this being said, since my new job requires me to work in silence the majority of the time, it's been extremely difficult for me to adjust, and sometimes I even think about quitting. Is it normal that I find myself bored and unable to focus without the presence of other external stimuli? — Overstimulated, via email

OVERSTIMULATED: There is no doubt that most people today are bombarded by so many stimuli daily that sitting in silence has become a challenge. It's clear that you are not alone in craving continuous stimulation throughout the day, as there has been a massive increase in the prevalence of things like internet and social media addiction throughout the last few years.

There is nothing wrong with listening to podcasts, music, audiobooks, etc., as they can be a great source of creativity and inspiration. Listening to these things while working on daily chores can make undertaking the tedious-but-necessary tasks in life more enjoyable. Nevertheless, overstimulation is not healthy because your mind needs some amount of peace and quiet throughout the day to truly rest and think clearly. If I were you, therefore, I would view your new job as an opportunity to challenge yourself to create a healthy balance between the amount of silence and stimulation in your life.

Think of your working time as a time free of all external stimuli and embrace the discomfort that results from denying yourself the ability to satiate your cravings. After you finish work, you can reward yourself by listening to music or a podcast on your way home or while you go about your other obligations. I would encourage you, however, to try to gradually reduce your need for stimuli in your life outside of work as well. For example, maybe decide that you will eat one meal a day in silence and away from any technological devices. Use that time to practice being fully present and in tune with your senses. I think you will find that committing to engaging in more mindful, stimulus-free experiences will improve the overall quality of your life and well-being and will make it so that when you do decide to engage with other stimuli, you can do so from a place of rejuvenation rather than a place of mental fatigue.

MY PARENTS USE ME FOR THEIR JOBS

DR. WALLACE: It's so strange to see both of my parents working from home these days due to the pandemic. On the one hand, it's kind of interesting to see exactly what they are doing at their jobs and to hear them on their business telephone calls during the day.

On the other hand, I find that both my mom and my dad ask me to do favors for them during the day related to their jobs. Sometimes I need to make photocopies or scan images to be emailed to potential clients and so forth. (My mom works in real estate.) These are not big things, but I probably spend half an hour of my time of day most days helping either my mom or my father here and there.

They do say thanks, but I don't get any extra allowance or any other compensation for this. There are times I would like to ask for a little extra spending money for the weekend, so do you think it would be appropriate for me to ask to start getting paid right now for these random requests, and even request that I receive a nice little "back pay" package of cash for all my past work? — Feel Like a Family Employee, via email

FEEL LIKE A FAMILY EMPLOYEE: Family members often help other family members with a variety of things during the course of daily, weekly and monthly life. I'm sure your parents have done many favors for you, such as driving you back and forth to various appointments, school functions or visits to friends' houses as you were growing up.

Think of the help you provided your parents so far as a little bit of a repayment for some of those favors they've done for you over the years. Your parents likely would have had assistance within their offices to help them with some functions of their jobs but obviously don't have that formal support assistance in your home.

Instead of asking for a "back pay" package, I suggest during a family dinner or a quiet evening when your parents are not working that you approach them and tell them you enjoy helping them with a few various small tasks related to their jobs. At this point you could ask them for a more formal job with additional duties you could perform for pay with regular scheduled hours.

You could explain that instead of working at a local restaurant or doing some babysitting, you'd prefer to spend your "work" hours with them and learning even more about business, while simultaneously helping them out as well.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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