Due to the holidays my normal garbage pickup routine was changed and I was not notified. For me this meant having twice the amount of trash I needed collected by the trash company. More concerning was the fact I had more than 50 pounds of soiled cat litter in my trash bin along the curb.

Once trash day came and went I noticed an orange sticker stuck to my trash can and upon closer inspection found out that it was a correspondence from an obviously lazy garbage man. Corresponding with customers through notes left on trash cans is no way to conduct business in my opinion. Call me or send me an email, hit me up on Facebook, send me a snail mail, do anything aside from leaving me important information sloppily plastered on the side of my gross, mysteriously scum-covered trash cans.

The note stated my trash bin weighed in excess of 50 pounds and that lifting it somehow violated the trash company's employee work expectations. On the sticker a whole plethora of trash infractions were listed and next to one marked "Weight limit 75 pounds" there was a check mark. The number 75 was scratched out though, and the trash man wrote "50 pounds" in its place. My garbage collector also wrote this literary gem on the sticker: "Light it up, please."

I imagine that what the worker meant to write was "lighten it up," because burning trash is illegal where I live.

So my trash wasn't dumped, which then meant the next week I would have thrice the amount of trash.

Here is what I don't understand. Didn't the trash man realize this? If it's too heavy this week, doesn't it stand to reason it'll be even heavier next week? Fifty pounds of cat litter just isn't going to disappear — and by the next week I would have 75 pounds of soiled cat litter. Perhaps he didn't realize that trash usually gets heavier the longer it sits along the curb.

Maybe it's just me, but I was under the impression that trash collectors picked up heavy things, like trash. Am I wrong about this?

In a fit of solitary passive-aggressive rage I immediately called the company's hotline and said more curse words than an overprotective boyfriend.

Then I went to the company's website and started researching the qualifications of garbage men and women.

One qualification I found was alarmingly ironic. It read, "An applicant must be able to lift 75 pounds up to 600 times per day and work 40-60 hours a week."

This still left me with the decision of what to do with all of my excess cat litter. I only have two trash cans and to add it to either would weight it down too much. I assure you that the person who coined the phrase another man's trash is another man's treasure wasn't speaking of soiled cat litter.

On the eve of the following trash day I decided to construct a makeshift trash receptacle by using a cardboard box. I poured 25 pounds of kitty grossness inside. On the top of the box in very big, bold and sarcastic letters I wrote in magic marker, "Caution: Extremely Heavy!"

But here is where elementary physics seemed to elude me. I only taped the top of the box. So when I walked it out to the curb the predictable outcome transpired.

I was halfway there when I slipped and lost my balance. Maintaining one's balance can be amazingly difficult while holding onto 25 pounds of cat litter in snowy conditions. I fell to the ground with a thud, and the force of the cat litter cardboard box as it fell on my chest was just enough to split it open like a ripened melon.

The box burst open like a disgusting jack-in-the-box filled with cat feces.

The pristine snow was suddenly littered with used cat litter.

It took almost an hour to clean up and lots of rubber gloves.

Talk about a bunch of garbage.

To contact Will E Sanders email him at wille@willesanders.com. To learn more about Will E Sanders, to read past columns or to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.