Dear Family Coach: My kids have a goldfish that won't die. The bowl is disgustingly dirty, and it smells. I hate that little fish. Can I dispose of it and tell the kids he died while they were at school? — Fish-Fry Mom

Dear Fish-Fry: I can picture exactly how you got into this mess. You were at the neighborhood carnival, and your adoring children asked for a dollar to play a quick game. You were busy talking to a friend, so you said "sure" without looking at the prize. When the children bounded back to you with fish in hand you immediately regretted losing your focus. Now you are stuck with the stinky little guy.

I'm not a big fan of goldfish, the cockroach of the water world. And I am not opposed to the extermination of household pests. But it seems a little harsh to dispose of a harmless goldfish that is contained in the fishbowl. If you do decide to murder their beloved pet you had better take that secret to the grave. Imagine their shock if they found out what you did. It wouldn't matter if a day passes or 10 years — they would have a hard time forgetting it.

Instead of resorting to desperate acts, why not try to get your kids to clean the bowl more regularly? Give them tools and a chance to help. If after a reasonable amount of time the fish still stinks and you still hate it, then go to plan B: Find another residence for the fishy. A nursing home, doctor's office or even a pet store might gladly take the guy off your hands.

Dear Family Coach: My 12-year-old son has been bugging me for the new Kevin Durant sneakers. All his friends have them. I think they are too expensive for our tight budget. But I don't want him to be an outcast. Should I find a way to get him the sneakers or tell him to learn to live without them? — Just Getting By Dad

Dear Dad: Parents should never, ever put the family's financial security in jeopardy for nonessentials. Buying something you can't really afford sends your children the message that material possessions are more important than financial well-being. Assuming you want your son to grow up knowing how to manage his money, pay his bills and save for his future, you should not buy the sneakers.

If money were overflowing and you wanted to treat your son for his birthday, I would support the purchase. However, since it seems that neither is the case, you should pass on the sneakers. Don't be afraid to discuss this with your son. Let him know that you have limited resources and the family has other more important obligations. Furthermore, feel free to discuss any objection you have to a pair of shoes costing more than what you spend on groceries for the family for a week.

I don't want your son to be an outcast. It is a sad commentary on our society that a pair of shoes can make or break a child's reputation. If he simply cannot live without the shoes, he is old enough to work for them. He can mow, rake, shovel, fold, tidy, clean, shop, cook and wash for friends, family and neighbors to raise the funds. Working for a prize will make it all the more valuable in the end.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.