"Frustrated" wrote in to say that he and his wife had stopped having sex. They didn't have the time or the energy because they were too involved with their kids. He wondered how other couples manage. Thoughtful readers wrote in with advice on how to make time and conserve energy for sex.

All that good advice made "Frustrated" wonder how much sex was average for a couple in their early 40s with kids. Again, you chimed right in...

RAINA: My boyfriend travels a lot for work. We're stuck with the Friday-night-to-Sunday-night thing. We manage to make love about three times on average in that short time.

YALE: This early 40-something couple does it on average three times a week.

HANK: I'm 47 and have been married for 20 years with two kids. I've been very physically active all my life, doing racquetball, running, stuff like that. During the kids' early years, my wife's sex drive diminished greatly, which was very frustrating for a guy with a raging libido.

But I was committed and had, ahem, a very active imagination, so we got through it. She has since come around quite nicely. So, as for your survey, let's assume there are three weeks out of every month to enjoy sex while a couple is in their early forties. I think four to five times a month is healthy. Six to seven is very ambitious and probably means there are no kids in the picture. Eight to 10 is very impressive. One to two may be satisfactory for some couples, but that seems kind of chintzy to me. I'd be grumpy after a while.

CURT: I'm 43 and have been married to my wife, 42, for 12 years. I'd like to have sex once a week, maybe twice a week. For a couple of years, my wife wanted sex maybe once a month or once every two months. Now that we're seeing a marriage counselor, she's starting to want it more often. This past month, she's wanted it once a week.

NED: Assuming there are no health problems, etc., I'd say most days, perhaps five times a week.

RICH: We've been married for over 48 years and are always amazed when we hear of people in their 40s having sex once a week or less. When we were in our 40s, we couldn't get enough of each other and probably averaged five or six times a week. We've slowed down a little now, mostly because of the aches and pains of old age, but we still average three times a week.

What in the world is wrong with these people? They have the greatest gift in the world and don't use it. We sure would like to go back to our 40s when a nooner was the norm.

DANIELLE: My husband and I don't have kids, and we try to have sex every other evening if possible, although it probably averages out to slightly less than that when you figure in an odd, busy evening, or other things that get in the way. The main thing is to make sure to make time for it. You can still be spontaneous about the way you do it, but we see it as making and keeping a commitment to the intimate side of our relationship.

How often do you and your partner have sex? Send your thoughts, along with your questions and problems to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."