Ongoing meaningful, goal-oriented work is the ultimate connection, the taproot into the world around you. By its very nature, it places you in the middle of a varied support group — from the bank clerk who cashes your check to the salesperson who sells you clothes for the office to the people who work beside you. The routine of work itself is a bridge to the outside world, pulling you out of self-absorption and prodding you to compare your thoughts with others' thoughts, your opinions with others' opinions, and to discover alternative ways of structuring your reality and making a life.

I'm not talking about "just a job" work, whose sole satisfaction is a paycheck; I'm talking about a career, which implies the sort of in-depth knowledge that can be accumulated only through dedication and focus. It needn't be in a field as esoteric as molecular biology; you may decide to become a potter or a farmer, a bus driver or a store manager. But you do have to sort through your strengths and interests and commit yourself to tracking a long-term career path with one of them. The key is to become good at something you love and then specialize in it. That kind of deep dedication requires pinpointed attention and inevitably results in stability and cohesion.

In the most obvious way, work makes you part of a larger whole, an organization bigger than yourself but at the same time dependent on your talents for full functioning. In that way, it is a fundamental connection to your selfhood, feeding back the feelings of achievement, usefulness and camaraderie so important to good mental health and a positive self-image. The economic rewards of work, of course, enable you to increase the number of choices in your life. The prestige of being successful in your field is a conduit to other fields (and the people in them) that in turn lead to possibilities you might never have known had you not attained that high level of achievement. And as you explore those new vistas, you place yourself alongside the rest of the madding crowd and see how you stack up. Career has an internal linkage, too, binding together the many dimensions of your life and giving them continuity, a running theme, purpose and meaning.

Work isn't the only mini-world you can build for yourself, but it's so fundamental that when wealthy widows brag to me about their life of leisure (as if that were an accomplishment), I suggest they remove the rose-colored glasses and see the benefits of productivity. Yes, of course economic security is important (you certainly can't doubt my opinion on that), but without the ongoing involvement of work, in my book, such women are deprived.

DEAR READERS: We've uncovered a treasure-trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, ready to read. Send $15 and your address to: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. I'll send you a signed copy.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com.