Spiced Apple Butter. That's the scent permeating my home office. Torrents of it flickering from a three-wick wax glob in a frosted jar tinted orange. One Bic burst and I'm in ... Salem? Maybe, uh, the Finger Lakes? In the glow, my incontinent senior cat becomes a kindly kitchen woman in a prairie skirt. "Come in from the cold, child," she says, churning boiled apples.

Sure, it may be a dreadful weekday, bringing with it a new credit score, but the vibes are immaculate. Spiced Apple Butter pours from the walls like in "The Shining." I'm mixing metaphors, but that happens on a psychedelic scent journey. This movie ends better. Instead of freezing to death, Jack Torrance gets his LIFE together, wrapping himself in an infinity scarf.

Because he has a candle. Anything is possible with a fall candle, the most powerful candle of all the candles. Fall is the Olfactory Olympics, and we are medalists in soft jammies. That's three metaphors in three paragraphs. Sniff. AH.

I purchased Space and Time's Spiced Apple Butter candle from JoAnn Fabrics and Crafts, a morass of autumnal senescence. Having burned through my Ashland Maple Pumpkin Butter candle from competing craft emporium Michael's, it was time for a replacement. I pondered Salted Pumpkin, which might just be a yam? Yam Candle doesn't sound enticing, I concur. Harvest Fig brought to mind the annual reverie of the family fig harvest! Spiked Cider, drunk. And Candy Corn, which ... pass.

You're asking, can all this fake sugar be healthy? Scented candles do emit chemicals, but most researchers say the risk is negligible unless you're especially sensitive or locked in a room burning a candle for days. Which, um. Moving on.

American homes have enjoyed electricity for a century, and yet, here we are, turning off the little lights and straining to read our little books next to a little fire giving off little fumes of gourd. Analysts at the NPD Group noted sales of candles, reed diffusers and home scents grew by more than 20% last year. Folks were buying more candles in 2020, too, along with self-help books and massagers. Consumers are locked in fortresses, seeking apocalyptic escape, Serenity by Jan.

Have you been to a Bath & Body Works? Bathed in the aroma of Pumpkin Pecan Waffles, of Washington's Finest Apple Macchiato? If that's not tempting, consider a candle rooted in the tradition of stoicism, a candle named Leaves.

TikTok birthed a viral candle, of course. "I don't know who needs to hear this," said user lizscham. "But Target is selling a candle that smells exactly like the air on a 65-degree day in mid-October." She speaks of my dreams.

Perhaps no one has unlocked the candle like Lakivia and Damarces Sharkey, a Tampa husband and wife team behind Treble and Flame. Lakivia, a nurse, was a Bath & Body Works candle fan. But when she got pregnant, she wanted a natural option.

She started selling soy candles on Etsy and — here's the part I'm obsessed with — pairing them with playlists designed by Damarces. Their fall candle, November, has notes of cranberry, apple, clove, chestnut and cider and pairs with music from Jaden Smith and Frank Ocean.

"My first degree was in psychology," said Lakivia. "I know that scent and sound is all tied to memory."

There's a Danish word for that, one of those delicious linguistic morsels packed with meaning, like "backpfeifengesicht," which the Germans use to describe a face begging to be slapped. Anyway, "hygge" stems from Old Norse for "hug," and it means a sensation of coziness and safety.

The quest might look like making the apartment 66 degrees and burrito-ing in a comforter. It might look like clutching a steamy mug while Enya makes breathy noises. Or it might look like lighting up a fresh Pumpkin Banana Scone from Yankee Candle and letting that baby rage until you can no longer stomach any cultivar of winter squash. Then, it's time for Tree Farm Festival and Magical Frosted Forest.

Sniff. AH.

Stephanie Hayes is a columnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her at @stephhayes on Twitter or @stephrhayes on Instagram.

Photo credit: 0fjd125gk87 at Pixabay