'Twas the night before Twitter rebranded as "X,"

Not a "Swiftie" was stirring, not even by text.

But buzzwords like "thirsty" and "vibe check" did whiz,

Including "authentic" and "toxic" and "rizz."

On TikTok and Meta, we often did spar,

Declaring with gusto, "That's not who we are!"

"Amazing" and "bandwidth" made some of us gack;

"Iconic" and "onboard" — too much to "unpack"!

We're "circling back," and always "touch base,"

We're "reading the room," in "spaces" "fast-paced."

When speakers concluded each sentence with "right?"

We grew so annoyed that we wanted to fight.

"Transgender" and "grooming," "affirming" health care,

Incited contention and made us aware

Of "culture wars" raging, "where woke goes to die,"

And "deep fakes" so "viral" we wanted to cry.

Tornadoes and flooding and dreadful mudslides,

From heat waves and fires, nobody could hide.

We sought "carbon capture," "renewables," too.

"Sustainable" growth became our goal true.

An air-filled balloon was traversing our nation,

While we were all fearing a different "inflation."

And "partisan politics" led to some squeakers.

Republicans squabbled, could not find a Speaker.

Like lemmings we marched toward the steep "fiscal cliff."

With each "short-term funding," we all wondered if

These rickety, "laddered" and improvised plans

Were clogging our roadway with more "kicked-down cans."

Those "guardrails" and "off-ramps" — "I'm not gonna lie" —

Made "stakeholders" shudder and "thought leaders" cry.

(And don't even mention the rise of "A.I.")

From Congress "divided," our eyes did divert

To sideshows like Santos and Lauren Boebert.

When old-timer Biden committed some gaffes,

Everyone mocked him with snickers and laughs.

With "vermin" and "vengeance," Trump's speeches did foam,

Inducing in foes "Trump Derangement Syndrome."

The "weaponized" courts he alleged were the cause

Of "witch hunts" against him: "I've broken no laws!"

Republican "hopefuls," their race turned intense,

DeSantis and Christie, goodbye Scott and Pence.

When Vivek threw insult on Nikki's heels — whammo!

She quipped that she used them as storage for ammo.

For parents of teens, I'll "demystify":

Their "bussin'" means "good," and to "cap" is to lie.

With so many channels and "podcasts" galore,

We all paused to ask, "Do we really need more?"

The "streaming" and striking gave showbiz a punch,

'Twas "Everything Everywhere All at Once."

Thank God for the phenom that heartened this rhymer:

The summer sensation — voila! — "Barbenheimer"!

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to WordGuy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Photo credit: Kajetan Sumila at Unsplash