"It's just a blatant smoke screen to keep on feathering the nest."

This sentence, recently uttered by a hapless public servant during a radio interview, left some listeners wondering whether the nest in question belonged to a phoenix.

Here are some of my recent favorites, arranged into frivolous categories:

Animal mixed breeds: "He and his colleagues are like hungry hounds galloping after a red herring." "Those vipers stabbed us in the back." "Those lions and tigers will come home to roost." "When a Trojan horse like that is laid at your doorstep, you begin to think somebody has an ax to grind."

Stitched-together bodies: "It's not easy to stick your head out on a limb." "His knees, the Achilles' heel of all skiers, were beginning to ache." "This field of research is so virginal that no human eye has ever set foot in it." "His leg was amputated after a long-standing illness."

High-tech mixology: "The audience are literally electrified and glued to their seats." "Judgment will have to be withheld until the nuts and bolts of the reforms are digested." "The ecologists are hammering away at the bottleneck in an effort to shave it to reasonable proportions."

Political mash-ups: "Conservatives would rather go down in flames than accept a half loaf." "An almost universal crescendo of hysteria and violence is the path through the horns of the dilemma." "The vacuum in the presidency hung over the university." "The ship of state is sailing the wrong way down a one-way street." "Mr. Speaker, I smell a rat. I see him floating in the air. But mark me, sir, I will nip him in the bud."

Water and oil: "I'm not mending bridges we've already sold down the river." "The future is an uncharted sea full of potholes." "The Midwest is mired in a month-long drought." "I'm only a big wheel in a small pond."

Laugh we must, but in a recent issue of Psychology Today, Roger Kreuz, a professor of psychology at the University of Memphis, points out that mixed metaphors can sometimes be effective because these jarring juxtapositions grab the reader's or listener's attention.

William Shakespeare knew this. In Hamlet's famous soliloquy, for instance, the despondent Dane says he could choose "to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them." Striking and emphatic? Yup. But I still can't help picturing Hamlet shooting arrows into a turbulent ocean.

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to WordGuy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, California, 90254.

Photo credit: Buzz Andersen at Unsplash