An amusing compilation titled "Why English Is Hard To Learn" has been bouncing like a beach ball around the internet for years. By citing sentences such as, "A bass was painted on the head of a bass drum," "The wind was too strong to wind the sail," and "Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear," this ditty showcases the linguistic fender-benders known as homographs — words identical in spelling but different in meaning, derivation or pronunciation.

"Why English Is Hard To Learn" is fun, but what's even more fun is knowing the many reasons these homographs occur: the diverse origins of English, its tendency to re-spell foreign words as known words, and the hidden connections between seemingly unrelated words.

Examining the derivations of homographs such as "bass," "wind" and "tear" is like interviewing two Americans named "Miller." You discover that one's grandfather was a German named "Mueller," that the other's was an Italian named "Milerno," and that both names have been conveniently Anglicized to the common English name "Miller."

Likewise, the two kinds of "bass" show the strong influence of both German and Latin on English. "Bass" (rhymes with "sass"), meaning a fish, comes from the Old High German "bersich" (perch), while "bass" (rhymes with "ace"), meaning a low-pitched sound, derives from the Latin "bassus" (low).

Similarly, the turn-round "wind" (rhymes with "kind") comes from the Old High German "wintan" (to wind), while the airy "wind" (rhymes with "sinned") descends from the Latin "ventus" (wind).

The two versions of "tear" were shaped by Greek and German. The rip "tear" (rhymes with "pear") traces its origins to the Greek "derein" (to split, flay, peel). The crying "tear" (rhymes with "tier") derives from the Old High German "zahar" (tear).

Many sentences in "Why English Is Hard To Learn" result from oft-overlooked links between words. The two "deserts" in "The soldier decided to desert in the desert" are really the same word. A "desert" (a dry, barren landscape) is a physical place that has been "deserted" by many living things.

Likewise, "The insurance was invalid for the invalid" contains a word that, while accented differently as an adjective or noun, derives from the Latin "invalidus" (weak). The adjective means legally or factually weak, while the noun denotes a person who is physically weak.

English IS hard to learn, but knowing the methods behind its madnesses makes it fascinating to learn as well.

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to WordGuy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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