Hey, You! Hero! Did You Lose the War?

By Marc Dion

August 20, 2021 4 min read

Yeah, you.

Twenty years ago, they couldn't get enough of you, back when the 9/11 smoke was still in people's eyes, and the country was flag crazy.

Heroes. Thank you for your service.

You came home from Afghanistan. Maybe you went back again. The military is revered in America, but it's not that popular, so those who do join have to keep going back to the same war over and over and over.

But they were nice while they lasted, the glory years. When people thanked you all the time, or at least they did when you were in America, before they sent you back the second time.

And now it's done, and you're in junior college, or prep-cooking at the Shoney's down by the interstate, or selling condos, or in law school, or sleeping in the weeds behind the dollar store. Good thing you learned how to live outdoors.

It's done, and we lost. We skittered out of Afghanistan, and the place returned to its rightful owners, some of whom are religious fanatics, just as some people are in Kansas. Of course, other countries don't send troops into Kansas to get the born-again friends of illiteracy off the local school boards. It would have been hard to blame Canada if they staged a military intervention during the Trump years.

So, it's done, and like your grandfathers when they came back from Vietnam, you face the accusing eyes of a nation.

You! Over there in the New York Yankees T-shirt. You with the USMC bulldog tattoo on your arm. Did you lose the war in Afghanistan? Didn't you try hard enough? Were you too scared?

Nah. You joined the military, and you did what they told you to do, which is what you're doing now on the day shift at the Walmart or running parts for an auto supply store.

Don't worry too much about it. "America's never lost a war," the World War II vets said when anyone suggested quitting in Vietnam.

No one says that anymore. America hasn't won a war in over 70 years. Thank you for your service, but we don't expect you to win, not anymore.

We want one man dead, Osama bin Laden or Saddam Hussein, and we send the Air Force, and we drop millions of tons of explosives and kill hundreds of thousands of people. We send in the troops, get the one man and grin our big howdy-doody American grins, and the sellers of weapons and the private contractors run off with the money, and the troops go on endless patrols for as long as it takes fat, stupid America to get bored with the whole thing.

And they don't want our Jesus, and they don't want our democracy, and they're dirty people in ragged clothes wiring up roadside bombs, and they wear us out, and we leave.

So, you! The only woman in your insurance office who served in the Army. Don't worry. You didn't lose the war in Afghanistan. Quit watching the news for a week and be careful how much you drink. It's not a good time for drinking.

And if you're still wearing the uniform, there's one more place you won't be going, and that's good.

Use your service time to retire from the Post Office a couple years early. Use the veterans' preference to get on the police force. Use the college money for college. You did what you were told, exactly as you promised. More than the principles and the presidents, more than the speeches and the leeches, you're the ones we love.

To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, a collection of his best columns, is called "Devil's Elbow: Dancing in the Ashes of America." It is available in paperback from Amazon.com, and for Nook, Kindle, and iBooks.

Photo credit: Defence-Imagery at Pixabay

Like it? Share it!

  • 1

Marc Dion
About Marc Dion
Read More | RSS | Subscribe

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE...