In between the Confederate monument and the tiki torch parade, there's a party goin' on.
And there are fine people on both sides. The bikers and the military and the cops are there, counting the days toward the pension, or toward selling crystal meth, depending on the uniform worn.
The reason?
No Russian collusion! No Russian collusion! Pump your pudgy fist in the air and chant along with the old guys in the green golf pants, and the young guys in the camouflage pants who have never been in a fight.
No Russian collusion!
President Donald Trump's so innocent, he could be the gentlest of children attending a rat-infested all-black Detroit grade school. He's as innocent as Stormy Daniels was before she found out she could sell what she'd been giving away.
That obstruction of justice stuff is nothing, just a toy for the lawyers. The point is that a recent two-year investigation found Trump innocent of having colluded with the Russians to win the last election. The right-wingers are right to say that news stories damn near drooled over the idea of Trump getting found between the sheets with Boris and Natasha. Having previously dropped the ball by giving Trump no chance to win, the white, suburban, college-educated mostly men who run the media once again missed the point, which is that you can't cheer a verdict until there IS a verdict. Where the hell are their editors?
While we wait for the media to stop packing itself with MORE people who all think alike, I'll explain to you why the Russians didn't collude with Trump.
They didn't have to, and, anyway, I don't think they believed he was stable enough to be a double agent.
They took a look at this real estate developer turned politician, and they were damn sure they wanted him to win, but after a couple of approaches, they realized Trump and his merry crew of amateurs would be the worst asset they ever bought.
So, they bypassed the candidate, and went after the voters.
Tirelessly, soundlessly, anonymously, through the mouths of a thousand moles and fake news sites, Russian operatives pumped the American voter full of news-like crap about the threat of transgender people peeing in the Walmart bathroom, and black helicopters coming for your guns and Obama's fake birth certificate, and a bunch of other swill our own press thought would NEVER fool Americans.
The Russians knew better. They'd been watching our sports-infused, celebrity-drenched, jump-to-conclusions, racist culture for some time, and they knew us. They knew that the love of the 1960s had busted out on drugs, and they knew we were ready for some hate.
So they fed us fake Facebook postings about bacon becoming illegal in Dearborn, Michigan, because a lot of Muslims live there, and they fed us stories about black "welfare queens" so old that doltish Ronald Reagan had used them to win an election.
The left Trump to pose and swagger and preen, while they went to work running the real campaign, the campaign he and his people were too stupid to run.
Like all advertising, it was relentless and stupid and repetitive, and tremendously effective.
The Russians didn't collude with Trump. They won an election for him without his help, and he still doesn't know it.
To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and columnists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, "The Land of Trumpin,'" is a borscht- and tear-filled romp through the election of America's most bobble-head president. It is available in paperback from Amazon.com, and for Nook, Kindle, iBooks and GooglePlay.
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