My Spongy Valentine

By Lenore Skenazy

February 9, 2023 3 min read

As Cupid's favorite day draws near

It's time to give full-throated cheer

Not just to all the gals and guys

With whom we share our love (and fries)

But also to those other things

That buoy the soul like water wings.

Things so everyday-ish they

Get overlooked. But not today!

Today we frankly celebrate

The stuff we overlook that's great.

Stuff like sponges when they're new

That don't yet smell like old fondue

Made in someone's sweaty shoe

(That make your hands smell like it, too.)

To all ye sponges not yet gross:

A toast to virgin cellulose!

And let us also give full props

To all our favorite dollar shops

Filled with cards, and cans of fish,

And puzzle books, and licorice,

And napkins and the spatulas

You find in homes of batchulas

Plus the toys worth more than gold

To anyone who's 4 years old.

We may be down, but at those stores

We're living like Louis Quatorze!

Time now, to also offer thanks

To a thigh's best friend: her Spanx.

And while we're at it, let's thank, too,

Whoever gave us super glue

And its cousin, twice removed

The Post-it note. Can't be improved.

And Ziploc bags — we love you, natch.

And toothpicks with the floss attached.

Also getting thanks, muchachas?

Small motels for cucarachas.

On this day of love and hearts

We hail the happy Pop of Tarts

Whether frosted or just plain

They fill the role of pink Champagne

To kids whose lives are one long wait

Between the Pop-Tarts that they ate.

(And some of us at 63

May share that same affinity.)

Finally, let us kiss through air

That humble thing we call The Chair

The seat of pow'r! The people's throne!

Allowing us to work, un-prone.

Whether hard or downright mushy

Thanks from our collective tushy.

You daily items, full of grace

Make our world a better place.

Plastic, frosted, sticky, plain,

Cheap or crunchy, cute, mundane

To you we say: "I'm glad you're mine!

Will you please be my Valentine?"

Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, a contributing writer at Reason.com, and author of "Has the World Gone Skenazy?" To learn more about Lenore Skenazy (Lskenazy@yahoo.com) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: monicore at Pixabay

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