I love having a good archnemesis. I feel that it keeps me young and spry, the same way Hugh Hefner feels about taking lovers or the way Jimmy Kimmel feels about hazing Matt Damon. I look at having an archnemesis the same way Willie Nelson thinks about marijuana; it just makes for a good day, man.

These ferocious foes are often found wherever I go. You, my gracious readers, may recall being introduced to a few over the years. There was Jeans Guy on the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, who dared to wear denim on the four-day hike, all the while commenting on how the Peruvian mountains had nothing on Mount Fuji. Good grief, I hated that man! He made for a textbook nemesis.

You may also recall Baby CPR Theater Grad Student Lady. She was the terrifyingly convincing method actress who decided to teach baby CPR to a roomful of first-time expecting mothers to test out her audition monologues. She spent more time screaming and crying for the unresponsive babies to wake up (note: they were dolls) than she did actually teaching us what to do in a choking scenario. Perhaps it's ironic that we all wanted to wring her neck. Baby CPR Theater Grad Student Lady was also excellent archnemesis material — especially because of my raging hormones. She was a slightly less conventional choice to be on the receiving end of my wrath, but she was archnemified all the same.

I've made an archnemesis out of the cinema that sold me tickets to a Harry Potter movie for the wrong day (I got dressed up like a wizard for nothing!) and out of the co-worker who bought only decaf coffee for our Keurig. And don't even get me started on the lady who stole my treadmill at the gym, ran on it in her stilettos and, when a heel broke, told the gym employees the machine was busted, causing it to be off-limits.

Nemesis! Nemesis! Nemesis!

Not that any of them know they are my archnemeses. In fact, my archnemeses rarely know I even exist. That's how I like it. Hate from afar. This way, I never have to learn they are actually delightfully witty and charismatic human beings. I never have to learn that Jeans Guy was wearing jeans in solidarity with the charity he funded, giving denim to underprivileged children. Or that Stilettos Treadmill Lady uses those sharp heels to aerate the fields of local farms. (A hero, that one is!) No, I like my enemies unknown and, if possible, somewhat cartoonish.

And it had been stressing me out that it had been some time since I had found a suitable archnemesis. I blamed the move, naturally. It's hard to make a foe when living out of boxes, but now we are unpacked. And yes, living in the wild does mean I'm more apt to meet a bear who performs CPR than a theater grad student, but still. I missed it.

Then I found one. My newest nemesis is glorious. Last week, I went to Los Angeles for a week to begin working on a new television series and found out about a woman who has continually bested me on the job front. The three most recent jobs I missed out on came down to me and one other person. It turns out that it was this lady every time! Perfect blind hatred material! I thought I couldn't be happier, but then it occurred to me that we really don't know how long I've been losing gigs to my new nemesis. What if she and I have been at it for years and neither of us ever knew about the other? What if when I lost the lead role of Annie in my local community theater when I was 8 years old it was because Annie went to Archie the nemesis? Oh, the sun will come out tomorrow, and I see you now, Archie. I. See. You.

There is a lot of hate and anger in our country right now. Society demands that we all be bigger people and be open to understanding other points of view. It's as necessary as it is exhausting. So might I recommend blindly hating a stranger for simply buying decaf coffee pods. Having an archnemesis of no real consequence is delightfully therapeutic.

Katiedid Langrock is author of the book "Stop Farting in the Pyramids," available at http://www.creators.com/books/stop-farting-in-the-pyramids. Like Katiedid Langrock on Facebook, at http://www.facebook.com/katiedidhumor. To find out more about her and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.