The Lady Gaga-Diane Warren song "Til It Happens to You" may not have won an Oscar, but it has undoubtedly proven its worth in a profound way. Gaga's powerful Academy Awards performance, dedicated to victims of sexual abuse, has inspired courage and healing. Actress Jaime King is the most prominent example.
On Sunday, Feb. 28, King divulged in a revealing tweet to Lady Gaga that she was abused as a minor:
"Thank you @ladygaga - I finally felt a true healing from years of abuse as a minor in the industry. Time to be brave." The next day, she went public on Instagram, spurred on by the song. Thanking celebrity friends including Lena Dunham and Taylor Swift, medical personnel who have supported her and others, King went on, expressing gratitude to "all organizations that have tirelessly worked to somehow comfort & make right | Thank you to myself to not choosing to not make this a cover story though that was what was suggested to me but to express from my heart to you all personally which felt the most honest way for me to speak | Thank you to my Soul, body, mind, emotions, my inner child, my younger self, I love you. It's a night of celebration, of change, of not being ashamed of your race, creed color, situation, circumstances and environment, or past. Now I am free, somewhat. Thank you for the switch that went off inside finally when I realized my silence said I cannot help nor change and that is not who I am. I love you all very much for creating a safe space. The time is now. I was about 14 here, it started at 12. Peace Be Still."
Gaga herself found inspiration in performing "Til It Happens to You," coming to terms with having been raped — and gaining support and kudos from her aunt and grandmother, who'd been unaware until the Oscar show of what had happened to the star.
As annoying as the culture of celebrity often is — with fans and media seemingly obsessing about what they wear, how they smell, what they eat, where they go, etc., ad nauseam — instances such as the "Til It Happens to You" can have immeasurable positive impact.
In 1991, Roseanne Barr went public with her recollection of childhood abuse at the hands of both her parents, who denied the allegations. She told People magazine, "keeping the secret of incest has taken all my energy and courage for 38 years. For most of my life, voices in my head must have been telling me, 'Shut up. Shut up. Shut up and take it.'"
Roseanne was inspired to face her past both by her then-husband, Tom Arnold, who was grappling with his own memories of childhood sexual abuse by his babysitter — and by "Miss America by Day," the book by former Miss America Marilyn Van Derbur, in which she disclosed the incest she suffered from age 5 to 18.
Van Derbur hated dolls. It wasn't until she was in her 40s that she tied that in to a mental picture she had of a doll of hers sitting in a chair near her bed, "and the shame I had that the doll could see what was happening."
"It helps to have people who are prominent, like Oprah Winfrey, who describe their abuse," according to Dr. Kathleen C. Faller, author of a number of books about child sexual abuse, whose credits include serving as professor of social work and director of the Family Assessment Clinic at the University of Michigan School of Social Work. Referring to Winfrey's disclosures of having been sexually abused by a cousin, an uncle and a family friend when she was growing up,
Faller added, "Every time somebody discloses and there is a positive outcome — when people believe the victim or survivor, help is obtained." And an opening for healing is made. "Til It Happens to You" provided such an opening.
View Comments