We've just taken down the Christmas decorations, snow's falling outside my window and a fireplace roars before me.

In other words, it's time to start worrying about summer camp.

There are options — oh, are there options — and if I'm not online at 10 a.m. sharp when registration opens, my kids might be stuck going to a summer camp for those with an interest in tax accounting.

I pore over brochures, scribbling down dates, texting to see where other kids are going. I plan summer six months in advance. My hair's starting to fall out, but the good news is that it's so gray it's harder to tell.

And that, my friends, is the reason for the global declining birthrate.

It's fashionable these days to accuse young people of being lazy or selfish for not wanting to trade their child-free independence for parental servitude.

But the opposite is true. It's not that young people have gotten softer, it's that parenting has gotten harder.

In past generations, good parenting consisted of providing three healthy meals a day and a bed to sleep in. For most of human history, occasional hugs and kisses were considered borderline spoiling.

Now, though, parents must maximize their children's social, psychological, spiritual, physical and emotional development. From the moment kids eat their home-cooked, low-sugar, vegan breakfasts to the second they fall asleep in their organic, VOC-free, non-fire-retardant mattresses, children must be comforted, supported, validated and challenged in every way.

The results of failure are anxiety, depression, obesity, ill health and lifelong unemployment — so, no pressure.

Being a perfect parent has never been possible, but only recently have we been constantly bombarded with images of people who are doing it better. If you manage not to beat yourself for making a mistake, parents on Instagram/Facebook/TikTok are happy to do it for you.

"Oh, I see you got your kids Happy Meals for dinner. I wish I didn't care about my little Braxton's health so much that I could feed him poison without feeling guilty. If you ever decide you might want to cook something healthy, I have a great recipe for baked seaweed and pumpkinseed fries."

Usually, though, we don't need anyone to criticize us. We do a perfectly fine job on our own.

I saw a mom comment the other day about how she felt guilty for letting her 2-year-old watch too much TV while she and her husband were both sick. (I should add that the mom was, in addition to being sick, also pregnant.)

How horrifying for a woman of childbearing age to read that, to know that if she decides to procreate, that's the kind of life she's in for: guilt, self-castigation and always feeling that you're falling short.

We tell our children that outcomes don't matter, that it's about putting in the effort and doing your best, but they see us treating ourselves differently. Being a good parent isn't about trying to be a good parent but about punishing yourself when you fail to reach perfection.

I've never believed much in shame, as a strategy. It doesn't stop behaviors, only makes someone feel bad about them.

It's the same for parenting. We need breaks, and kids like TV and delicious food. To shame us (or them) for that just results in parental guilt (and a kid who thinks anything short of ideal is intolerable).

And after all this, I'll still register them for summer camp. But once it's done, it's done. No sense in second-guessing or feeling guilty about the decisions.

Camp should be fun, shouldn't it? For kids, at least. And for parents, well, at least they're not watching TV. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

To learn more about Georgia Garvey, visit GeorgiaGarvey.com.

Photo credit: bingngu93 at Pixabay