Feb. 3, 1941

To the editor of The Daily Mirror,

It is with a profound sense of dismay that I write today to announce that I, a resident of 1940s London, tire of World War II.

It's been practically years of this nonsense, fighting and drafts and nonstop pitching in together as a nation, and in my opinion — and that of a great many other fine citizens of the British Empire — it's high time we all get back to normal.

I'm sick of the rationing — butter and meat and sugar — and the government telling me how much I can buy of seemingly every item on my shopping list and what I'll pay for the privilege of doing so. If I have the money (and I do!), shouldn't I be able to eat as many banana splits as I want, availability of crucial goods for Allied troops be damned?

Everyone's talking about fascism lately, but I say the real fascists are those trying to stop me from buying more than a pound of bacon a week.

And what's all this about shipping routes and trade embargoes and supply chain disruption? We're supposed to only eat cakes and other sweet treats at special occasions just because there's a war on? Winston Churchill may be a decent public speaker but he's obviously a terrible national leader if he can't ensure a wide enough variety of food available for my breakfast buffet.

I also find the continued nighttime blackouts to be profoundly annoying.

For months, I've been fine with turning off our family's lights at dusk to prevent the Luftwaffe from being able to discern the military targets in the city, but, frankly, it's getting old.

My children can't do their homework in darkness. And when you weigh the negative effects on their studies against the very small chance of fiery death from above, I'm starting to think it's not worth the trade-off.

I'm an adult. If I want to take the risk of turning on my lights during the blitzkrieg, I should have the freedom to do so.

Enough finger-wagging from soldiers on the front lines about whether I'm doing my part at home. No one forced them to join up. Well, perhaps they did, but one can always depart without leave and stand trial for desertion, can't one?

Additionally, I don't appreciate being shamed for having political opinions that go against the grain.

I'm an independent and I do my own research. I don't just accept the word of any old media hack who tries to tell me that German paramilitary forces are carrying out pogroms against Jewish people. I guess I just need a little more evidence than the sheeple who believe everything they're told.

Yes, I admit it, I listen to Axis-sympathizing radio broadcasters and, yes, one did call Adolf Hitler "a scamp who, despite being a bit naughty lately, almost certainly has no plans to annex Yugoslavia." But these broadcasters have a right to free speech and should be able to say whatever they like, even if their assertions are dangerous to my safety, detrimental to the war effort or even, let's say, slightly treasonous.

What are we fighting this war for, if not for the right of someone to make godawful amounts of money telling me things that upset and frighten me, things that are both demonstrably untrue and politically divisive?

In conclusion, I propose that we end all this claptrap and simply snap our fingers and go back to the way I vaguely remember things were like before the war began. Our brilliant British scientists should be spending less time trying to break German codes and more time developing a time machine that can transport us back to 1938.

Keep Britain great.

Yours very truly,

Nigel Farraday

To learn more about Georgia Garvey, visit GeorgiaGarvey.com.

Photo credit: larahcv at Pixabay