Q: My husband and I are retiring and moving to a retirement community in Arizona as soon as we find a buyer for our current home. We have three grown and happily married children living nearby.
Because we're downsizing, we were initially excited to share some of our family heirlooms and treasures with our kids.
We've brought this up before, and none of our children committed to wanting any of our furniture — even some of the antiques that have been in the family for decades.
What should we do?
A: Letting go of our old possessions is always difficult. We get attached the longer we keep things and tend to think emotionally about them.
Be happy about the things that you're able to share with your children, but try not to get too pushy. Also consider that you're probably keeping the truly special items to yourself — what you're offering is furniture that you've decided you no longer want.
Antiques, especially wooden furniture, are less appealing now than they have been in the past. There are several obstacles to consider — like home size, moving concerns and furniture styles. Additionally, furniture can be unappealing due to outdated upholstery and fabric.
For the unwanted items, you have several options. You can choose between selling them, hosting an estate sale, donating to charities (potentially with a tax write-off), sharing with a neighbor or offering the items to the person buying your home.
Set a deadline for relieving yourselves of large items well before it comes time to move. While you're still waiting to find a buyer, now is the time to make plans. — Doug
AVOIDING HOARDING
Q: Nobody has ever described me as the tidiest person, but I've never thought that was a problem. Now I'm starting to wonder.
I have a very cluttered house, and I was recently shocked after watching a TV show about hoarders. When watching an episode, I recognized myself in a hoarder who kept many similar things (like old newspapers, magazines and expired food cans).
What was most shocking was the level of delusion that many people on the show have. Their hoarding is impacting their lives, but they don't see it as a problem.
I don't want to fall into the same trap, because it looks impossible to escape. What can I do?
A: Make cleaning up your act into a priority. Commit to a specific plan as a New Year's resolution.
Having clutter around the home is pretty normal, but it can be extremely difficult to recognize when it's gotten out of hand.
Aside from the obvious space issues, clutter can also be bad for your health. It's easy to develop inaccessible piles of dust and dirt, where insects and rodents love to hide.
One of the best things you can do is a thorough overhaul of everywhere you accumulate things — cabinets, the refrigerator, the laundry room, etc. Take out everything from this space, and look through the items individually.
Physically moving things out into the open usually shows us at least a few things that we've completely forgotten about. They may have been slowly decaying in the meantime.
First, get rid of anything that's disgusting. Any expired perishables should be put into the trash immediately.
We often get emotionally attached to our belongings and need an impartial eye. Bring in a voice of reason — invite a friend or family member to help you out. This person can give you perspective on what's worth keeping.
If you disagree on an item, put it aside and come back to it. Your perspective on what's important will likely develop throughout your cleaning process. Keep an open mind, and listen to outside advice.
Once you've done a deep cleaning, practicing good habits will help you maintain your home. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter
Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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