Q: My 90-year-old neighbor's health is failing, and he seems to be retreating into himself. I know that he's had heart troubles for years, and apparently a recent doctor visit brought bad news.

He doesn't have any family members living close by, and I believe most of his friends have already passed.

I want to support him, but I don't want to invade his privacy when he's not feeling well. How can I help?

A: You can put yourself out there, but don't get too upset if he isn't able to enjoy your company on your schedule.

Illness is a serious issue for seniors, and it often exacerbates loneliness and depression. Simply knowing that you care may boost his mood.

Extend the offer to spend time together. Treating him to a meal is a possible idea. Offer to bring food over. Cooking or procuring food can be exhausting; if you can bring over some simple items, you might alleviate some of his burden.

Pay attention to his cues of whether or not he wants to discuss his illness. It may be nice to be separate himself from his worries and enjoy spending time with you. Don't be nosy for your own curiosity.

In short, try to continue being a good neighbor! Caring enough to try is a great start. — Doug

LOOKING AHEAD

Q: New Year's has always been important to me, and I've made resolutions for the new year for several decades without fail.

Every year, I ask my family to think ahead and bring three resolutions for the new year to our holiday celebration. My grandchildren do it begrudgingly and never seem to put much thought into their ideas.

Is this tradition becoming irrelevant? If not, how can I demonstrate its importance with the younger generation?

A: New Year's resolutions are essentially promises we make to ourselves for the upcoming year. Thinking forward and making plans are timeless skills, whatever form they take.

It's curious, but oftentimes the person whose commitments we're least likely to honor is ourselves. Sharing our ideas with other people makes us think them through and feel more accountable.

Model the example you want to set. Share your own resolutions with your family, and reflect on your past year. What did you do to meet your goals? If you struggled, what were your challenges? Did you learn from the experience?

Just like with the resolutions themselves, consistency is the most important thing. Traditions become traditions only when you do them regularly over the years. Your grandchildren haven't put in as much time as you have, so the tradition is less ingrained.

With age comes perspective. Our younger years are more volatile, and it can be hard to think in the long term. As a result, resolutions may be more trivial. You are lucky to be able to watch them grow as people.

By contrast, seniors have more stability in their lives, and it can be easier to plan ahead. No matter what age we are, we should all try to grow as people.

Be patient, and keep up your family tradition of sharing resolutions. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.