Q: I have two important issues I need resolved. One is that my husband complains I am overspending. The other is that I dislike our new daughter-in-law. I complain repetitively to my husband about how unhappy I am. He understands, but tells me that only I can solve my problems. I agree with him. How can I get over my feelings and make things better?

A: Choosing to make changes is a major challenge. The longer resolutions are delayed until they magnify and become increasingly more difficult to solve.

What are the specific reasons why you are unhappy? We all resist change and believe we are right. We may have control issues and jealousies, and are unable to understand why others do not accept our opinions.

Determine your reasons and write them down. Why do you overspend? Would cutting back be a winning choice and make your marriage happier? Is what you buy worth making your husband work harder to pay the bills?

Your son has married and made his choice. Why can you not accept her? By not doing so, you may be jeopardizing your relationship with your son whom you obviously love. Should they produce grandchildren, how will that affect your relationship with them?

Tackle your issues one at a time. Choose the simpler one first. This should make the second one easier to overcome.

There will be consequences when you make compromises. Motivation is your keystone. The risk/reward price is on the table and will be reflected and determined only after you make your decisions.

Love, caring, acceptance and peace are now up for grabs!

Q: My mother is in her mid 80s and in good health. She lives alone, is contented and appreciates the fact she can be independent. We love her dearly.

However, when she and our 16-year-old daughter get together, our daughter becomes impatient and bored. Mom wants to tell her how life was when she was growing up, how she matured and survived ... and often repeats it.

Unfortunately, neither understands the generational differences. All our daughter wants to do is to pull out her smartphone and ignore her grandmother.

How can we best work out their differences?

A: Generational lifestyles have changed dramatically, transforming the ways we communicate. Many seniors have learned that by not being computer-literate, they have become isolated from their families.

Explain to your daughter how it was when your mother was growing up, and how the family learned survival techniques. Remind her that historically unknown events do occur without warning and will continue to do so in the future. Recognizing this possibility may be helpful in searching for a valuable wake-up call for your daughter. As I am from Oklahoma, I suggest your daughter read John Steinbeck's "The Grapes of Wrath," which details the Great Depression. This might prove interesting.

Love, acceptance and caring within families proves to be our ultimate goal!

As a last resort, would leaving the smartphone at home be an option?

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.