Q: I have had a wonderful cleaning lady for the last three years, but recently, I've been very frustrated with the quality of her work.
I don't have the best eyesight or nose anymore, but my children still do. The last time my son came to visit, he commented that my dishwasher and sink have a growing mold problem. Apparently, there's a distinct smell.
I'm especially worried because mold is bad for your health. Living in an unclean environment is hard on your immune system, and mine isn't great to start with!
I feel like my cleaning lady is slacking off and don't want to put up with it any longer. She is a sweet woman, but I have to worry about my health first.
I don't know how to bring this up. What is the best solution?
A: You need to have an honest conversation.
Navigating relationships that are somewhere between personal and professional is difficult, especially in the long term.
At the end of the day, you entered into a business relationship because you had a need that she was able to fulfill. When the balance of supply and demand is disrupted, there are problems.
It's better and kinder to have a conversation about your frustration before breaking the relationship entirely. A first conversation can act as a way to clear up any misunderstandings — or as a warning sign.
During this conversation, you should mention your frustrations calmly and lay out your expectations. Ask her if those expectations are reasonable, and if not, then why. There may not be any extenuating factors, but this is the time to ask.
If there's a reason for the change in quality, you may realize there are other factors you haven't considered. Your home may take longer to clean thoroughly than you are currently paying for, especially if you have a pet or have been accumulating clutter. She may have found new clients and be figuring out how to adjust to the new schedule.
Finally, you should let her know that you are serious about your frustration. Be polite but firm. If the two of you can't find a workable solution, you'll have to part ways.
In any communication, there should be a balance of talking and listening. The dynamics of a service provider-client relationship can be frustrating, but there's no avoiding them.
Honesty is the best policy! — Doug
TRICK-OR-TREAT TIPS
Q: We moved into a neighborhood near a local elementary school, so there are always children around for Halloween. We love giving out candy and seeing all the costumes.
Last year, we didn't get many visitors, and I think we still have some of the candy lying around.
I can't figure out why. What do you think was the problem?
A: There are a couple of possibilities.
Check your outdoor lights and see whether the path to your door is well-lit. People need to know that your house is open for business, and parents want to make sure that no one gets injured.
The candy you hand out could also be the problem. Parents are wary of handmade treats because of news stories about potential injury. A safe bet is to buy individually wrapped candy.
If you have a specialty that you have traditionally made (like a popcorn ball or caramel apple), you can keep it for the families you know well. In that case, make sure to ask the parents first.
Jack-o'-lanterns make for a good advertisement! If you don't like carving, a good alternative is a store-bought plastic one. You can even use it for next year.
Happy Halloween! — Emma, Doug's granddaughter
Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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