Q: My daughter has struggled with her weight for her entire life. Now she seems to have given up, and her health is suffering.

Her problem has always involved going to extremes, but nothing anybody says seems to help. She used to go on fad diets and lose a bunch of weight. But then she'd gain it all back with interest within a year.

I'm worried that she'll have a heart attack and be gone before I am.

How can our family help her maintain her health?

A: Focus on a lifestyle change (not weight loss), and be willing to make some changes yourself to be supportive.

The important thing here is to focus not on looks but health.

Have an honest conversation as a family about your concerns for her health and why you want to help. If you can't find a way to work with your daughter, success will be hard to come by.

If your daughter is willing to work on her health, make your own effort, too! Most people have at least a few bad habits.

Do you know of a local nutritionist? Pay attention to his or her qualifications and patients' long-term outcomes. An expert opinion can make a huge difference.

Be careful with franchised weight-loss operations, as they vary wildly depending on the franchise operator.

Most importantly, give it time. Abrupt weight changes stress the body and aren't good in the long run. A better plan is to lose weight gradually and keep it off.

Ultimately, health is an individual decision. You can suggest changes but cannot enforce them — constant nagging doesn't work.

Instead of forcing changes upon your loved ones, help them find and use resources that work for their needs. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

SLOWING DOWN

Q: I feel like I'm on a slow but noticeable decline. I was never all that active, but it was by choice. I don't think that's true anymore.

My family loves to go on an annual hike for Thanksgiving, which is coming up. This year, my children are saying it might be better if I stay at home instead of risking a fall. I don't feel that old yet (I'm only in my mid-70s!), but they see it differently.

I don't think I'm that bad, but how can I tell?

A: An objective test of your physical ability will help you avoid gradual decline.

Perform three regular activities as an objective measure to keep yourself in check: a flexibility test, a grip strength test and a sitting-rising test.

For flexibility, try touching your toes. You can do this either standing up or on a chair with one leg extended. A good goal is to get your fingers within 4 inches of your toes. Avoid bending your knees or locking them in place.

For the grip strength test, buy a hand dynamometer to measure your grip, and compare it to others of the same age and sex.

The sitting-rising test may be most crucial of all, measuring balance, flexibility and strength.

Stand in the middle of a room and lower yourself to the floor, without leaning on anything for balance. Then, rise again to standing.

It sounds simple but gets harder and harder with age. Giving yourself 10 points for a successful maneuver, subtract one point each for using your hand, knee, forearm, side of leg or hand on knee for support.

Muscular strength and flexibility are critical for seniors, and each point increase on this test is associated with a 21% decrease in mortality from all causes.

Any exercise counts, and you will see the results. Studies have shown that moderately inactive people have 16-30% drop in death risk compared with those who are completely inactive.

Joining a group or team activity is a great way to stay motivated. On top of the physical benefits, the social aspect is great for mental health and possible loneliness.

Whatever you do, don't stop moving! Regular exercise even benefits people in their 80s and 90s. — Doug

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: stevepb at Pixabay