Q: My father has lost almost all of his teeth — but luckily for him, he got dental implants to replace them. No need for uncomfortable dentures.
The problem is that he now seems to be making all of the same mistakes that led to his teeth problems in the first place. He doesn't brush, floss or take any care whatsoever. That's to say nothing about the idea of going to the dentist!
There's no getting through to him, even though the whole extended family doesn't understand his behavior.
Are we right to be concerned?
A: For a lot of seniors, there's no telling them what to do. You can try to convince him, but no amount of browbeating is going to help.
Although we're lucky that dental implants are now available, new technology always comes with new and different problems. The transition phase often has its own problems for earlier adopters.
The main issue is that people don't take these drawbacks into account.
Tooth loss is common at older ages for a variety of reasons, but it can be a result of poor dental hygiene over time. Your father's history of dental problems was a warning sign.
Even if your father's happy to have avoided dentures, that doesn't mean that implants are without issues. The thing to watch out for is gum health.
If an infection roots itself in the gums, it can go unnoticed a long time — especially without the sensitive tooth nerve. This can lead to serious jaw problems such as bone loss.
Bone damage can mean that the implant has to be removed and can't be replaced. If your father doesn't watch out for his gums, he could end up in a world of hurt — and possibly have to get dentures after all.
There are different care instructions for various types of dental implants. For specifics about how to avoid issues, you should consult either the person who did the procedure or your dentist.
Hopefully sharing this information with your father will help get him on board. But sometimes stubbornness trumps knowledge.
Be conscious of the way you deliver the message. Unlike technology, some things never change — you'll attract more bees with honey than with vinegar! — Doug
NEW ROMANCE
Q: After a couple years of loneliness, I moved into a retirement community. My husband passed away and my son moved out of state for work.
I don't think I'll ever stop missing my late husband, but it's past time to move on. There's a man who I think is interested, but I'm not completely certain. I haven't dated in decades and haven't had to think about the courtship game since.
What do you advise?
A: Get out of your comfort zone.
Don't let your worries get in the way of finding happiness. A good man is hard to come by, especially in retirement communities. If you don't grab the bull by the horns, someone else might get there before you.
Romance is important at all ages. Many seniors tell themselves negative messages, such as that the best times have passed them by. But that's only as true as you believe it to be!
One of the best things about being older is getting to cut through all the nonsense. You know yourself better and are more aware of what you want and need. You've already done most of the heavy emotional lifting.
Be direct and ask him is he's interested. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter
Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. You can contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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