Q: I am a widow in my 70s and becoming more and more addicted to turning on my TV when I awaken and leaving it on almost all day. I am bored and lonely, with little to do and only a couple of friends available.

Years ago, my husband and I were extremely active socially and enjoyed life to its fullest. Now I do not enjoy being around others, because we do not seem to have anything in common.

I know I am my own worst enemy. Knowing this, what can I do to become active again?

A: In aging, many of us choose the path of least resistance and hibernate, often feeling sorry for ourselves. Choose to make every effort to regenerate your life, make new friends and live the life you can enjoy day by day. Write a daily checklist before you go to bed to become ready and eager to go. I promise it will make you happier, healthier and peppier.

Daily exercise should always be on your checklist, come rain or shine. You can use the mall on those bad-weather days.

Being happy and focusing on a positive outlook will help attract new friends and encourage others to join in the fun. It's a proven habit! — Doug

MENDING FENCES

Q: My brother and I have had a tense relationship for many years. Since our parents passed, we've had trouble agreeing on anything. We do talk frequently, but because of the difficulty of travel, we see each other mostly just at large family events. We last saw each other during the holidays and ended up getting irritated at each other by bringing up old arguments. Since then, we haven't been speaking so often, and I'd like to patch up the rift. What do you recommend?

A: It gets much more difficult to make amends as time passes, so make sure to not let this tension simmer. Although you may not know exactly how to proceed or how to deal with your underlying issues, don't avoid contact with your brother.

Communication is said to be the single most important part of any relationship, so talk to your brother and address the root of your tension. For many of us, our natural inclination is to avoid conflict rather than solve it. However, problems don't disappear, and you will find yourself having these same arguments again and again.

The most important thing is to establish that you love each other and that you want to have a more positive relationship. Do this before attempting to address any issues, or you might find that your problems obscure your intended goal of improving your relationship and addressing deep-seated problems.

Be patient, and always try to empathize rather than draw lines in the sand. When you make the effort to treat someone kindly, you will often find that he responds in kind. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Ian T. McFarland