Q: My husband and I are nearing that wonderful stage in life called "Retirement." Because of our careers, commitments and family responsibilities we have been focused on taking care of business over our working years. This is an exciting time in our lives. We have three adult siblings plus seven grandchildren living in different states. We plan to see them, have them visit and keep in touch with them as much as possible.

We realize that doing so may be a major challenge, that even when plans are made they will often change, but out intentions are to do so!

A: Amazingly, many couples look forward to retirement with enthusiasm, but with no goals or plans. You appear to be ahead of that curve.

No. 1 on your list of priorities are your existing health conditions and your doctors' diagnoses for future health. Prepare yourselves for changes in plans. With the number of family members you enjoy, hiccups will always be a part of the process of getting the family together. Different birthdays, holidays, illnesses and other factors will always need to be adjusted.

Where do you wish to make your primary residence? You might prefer a better climate, less expensive housing or a place where you'll meet new friends with retirement in common. Or you might remain content where you are. Are you basically homebodies? Do you enjoy traveling, taking college classes, volunteering or spending more time pursuing your current hobbies?

You may want to take more time to decide what you really want to do with your time.

Life can change quickly, and unexpected events can influence how you will react. Quietly prepare in your mind what new options you may anticipate and how best to handle your reaction. You can eliminate stress by becoming somewhat prepared, having a few options in mind and being ready to be active.

For instance, can you afford major inflation should it be tossed onto your laps?

Consider your options; don't dwell on negatives; and take advantage of having your time now! You have earned it!

MARRIAGE IS AN EXPERIENCE

Q: Our daughter and her husband have been married nearly three years. They love each other, but are not getting along well, primarily because our daughter is impatient and flies off the handle when something bothers her. Her patient husband does not know how to cope with her reactions and simply goes silent. They both do get over it, but is there anything we can do to help? We are considering inviting them to dinner and expressing our recommendations to solve their problem. Is that a good idea?

A: No and no! Married partners work their differences out by making compromises and committing themselves to love, care, support and enjoy the security of each other. Should either partner ask for your advice, your correct answer is "We are not qualified to give you any."

Accepting each other's differences is a part of marriage along with your vows, commitment and trust. It's what makes us who we are!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Betty is a friend of Doug Mayberry, whom she helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.